Anatomy Of A Trial

Just as the secrets of the human body have been unlocked by the diligent study of commonalities found, an examination of the modern terror trial bears much ripe, swollen fruit.
The Revelation!:
The plot is explained and it us said not just to be real, but very so! At this point no claim is wild enough, whether it be Ricin, Red Mercury or Tang Bombs. Impossibility is no obstacle, just ensure that the public are made fully aware of the potential catastrophe avoided by our brave lads. The use of the words: 'chilling', 'shocking' and 'carnage' are at this point mandatory. Death tolls are always scientitiously calculated to be in the thousands. It may also be useful to describe the plot as unimaginable, even though clearly someone must have made it up.
The Round Up!!:
With lightning speed, arrests are made, some to be discarded later. These are usually of young morons who have been under surveillance for many months. The evil genius almost always outwits the plod at this point. They will be clearly in possession of freely available terror materials, have discussed half baked bullshit on 'internet chatrooms' and will have made that most deadly of weapons, the martyrdom video. They alone, are enough to scare a person to death!
The Hiatus....:
All is quiet as the police trawl the hundreds of computers, thousands of electronic mails and millions of mobile telephone messages. This usually turns up a few incriminating CD's and some soft drink containers. Moody photos of the sullen guilty are released to the world's newshounds.
The Trial!!!:
This will be covered intermittently, dropping to zero when the slimy defence lawyers are trying to get the guilty off scot free, yet rising to a hysterical clamour when the state rolls out its son et lumiere reconstructions of events that have never occurred.
The Verdict???:
That perennial Achilles Heel of the show trial, the jury, returns the wrong verdict. Probably out of fear of the guilty, staring evilly from the dock.
The Fall Out!!!:
First, and most importantly, the original and now discredited, allegations must be regurgitated with even greater urgency! Questions about the general uselessness of juries will be asked! The CPS will vow to retry these people until found guilty. And, of course, Freewheeling Frankie Gardiner will emerge, in all his prosthetic glory, to reflect the security community's dismay!

As the telelgraph newspaper reported up to 4000 terrorists in the UK last year (probably twice that by now!), we can look forward (with an average cell size of 20) to around 200 of these trials in the next few months.

Apart from where actual explosions occur, which will have been performed by 'clean skins' who work 'under the radar' and are all dead so no trial is necessary, I think you can be confident the aspects outlined above will be found in well over 100% of these cases.
It's the conspiraloon guarantee!