EXCLUSIVE PROOF: Alan Johnston kidnapped by aliens

Conspiraloonery Central has obtained exclusive proof that BBC reporter Alan Johnston has been kidnapped by flag-waving, Panorama-watching, aliens.

Panorama special - Where is Alan Johnston?

The picture below clearly shows BBC reporter Alan Johnston (picture left) in the bright and irresistable glare of the UFO tractor beam that abducted him without trace.

The UFO tractor beam was fired by the UFO (picture right) which has been cleverly constructed from standard UFO parts and a copy of the Panorama logo. The new style UFO with its Panorama enhanced tractor beam is specially designed to capture BBC journalists.


BBC executives were unavailable for comment, fuelling suspicions that they too have been abducted by aliens.