Make It Happen

Proving the predatory financial sector retains a sense of humour within its dying, twitching husk, I received this cheery note on my return from eurozone 1:

The Royal Bank of Scotland

Dear Mr NAME REDACTED,
Good Business Sense
As your Business Manager, I would like you to know that my team and I are here to support you and your business during the current econommic uncertainty. We can help you with a great deal of practical support on day to day matters like cash flow management as well as more strategic, long term advice.
I have enclosed an impartial guide from MoneySense for Business,RBS's financial capabilities initiative.Entitled 'Trading through the Economic Downturn' its aim is to help businesses understand how best to mange their finances given the current economic slowdown.

Given that my business manager will no doubt be a hair gelled,larval stage scrap of genetic landfill( squirming within a poorly cut suit his mother assured him he will grow into),whose advice will amount to peddling some worthless financial 'product', I was sorely tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves.
But then they already had*.

Fully qualified strategic adviser and cashflow specialist

*After everybody else