If you want to get ahead, get a hat

Fuck tinfoil, take control with the technology the powers that be do not want you to know about!
Slap one of these on your victim's head and they will be under your complete control!
You won't be a nobody anymore, even the world's most powerful people will suck your cock...








.....All day long.

With thanks to the aangirfan gestalt for the images.

Checkpoint Charlie

"It was really strange"

the trim, muscular member of the defence force recounted

"I explained to him that it wasn't necessary, but he insisted!"

"He turned his back, assumed the position and dropped his trousers in front of us all! Throughout the procedure, despite the occasional whimper, he kept saying how it made him feel wanted."

He paused to remove his soiled and bloody surgical glove.

"Afterwards he apologised for that journalist we had to sort out the other week and thanked us for all the help with operation kratos. We thought that was that, but the mouth breathing cunt just wouldn't go. He offered us an unsold copy of 'Courage' and 'Britain's Everyday Heroes'*. His suitcase was full of them. Enough to crush a gazan house, already! Sensing our unease, he pointed out there was no mention of palestinians in them. They looked a bit boring, but he was so so pitiful, we took them anyway. "

"Then it just got worse...he started blathering on about his dad....How they had watched terrorist super 8 films together as father and son.... About how much the scotch had in common with the chosen people... no written constitution, nuclear weapons, unruly natives, threatened by iran etc... As he droned on, I really began to wonder if Eretz Yisrael needed 'friends' like this...I mean, the money, weapons and political cover are handy, but why do they have to act so chummy? Doesn't he have any friends of his own? It's just fucking embarrassing sometimes."

"We finally packed him off by explaining our torture and harassment targets that day. He said he fully understood how important it was to hit targets...

"but only if they're over 12!"

...We all had a laugh at that...Then, thank yahweh, he finally fucked off to give his fund raising speech to the Knesset."

"Funny little chap....I don't think we'll be seeing him around here again".

*A book about private equity managers, non domicile tax dodgers and war criminals

Film Special

The Alliance's notoriously unreliable show business sources inform us that the cruelly overrated Sacha Baron Cohen is all set to exhume his hit comedy character 'Borat' in a sequel set in present day Gaza.

Mr Cohen ,whose 'modus hilarity' might well be described as 'by way of deception', is clearly concerned about the rise of anti semitism there.

"It's a responsibility I cannot shirk." said the oscar nominee. "It's close to my home in Tel Aviv and the economic situation means I can pay even less than those peasants got in Romania".

Ever the optimist, and a great believer in the healing power of laughter, he continued:

"One of the great things is I can re-use so much material! I can appear at a burst sewage tank and shout 'It's all the fucking jews' while dancing around the children drowned in shit."

"If someone gets hit by an airstrike I'll say 'This is jew work', that way they'll realise it's their own fault!"

He remains aware that the situation on the ground might pose some production problems:

"It'll be hard to work in the 'Throw a jew down the well' song, as there isn't any drinking water in that area anymore" the perfectionist reflected morosely.

Naturally, there's a serious side to this comedy zionist's project:
Through his light hearted strategy, he hopes to enlighten the residents of Gaza regarding their resentment of the chosen people. He says of his character:

"By himself being anti-Semitic, he lets people lower their guard and expose their own prejudice, whether it's anti-Semitism or an acceptance of anti-Semitism. I want them to realise this before we finally get rid of them all"

Some might wonder if his unique brand of humour will be relevant amongst the carnage of a military occupation and the brutal privations of illegal collective punishment by Israel's army.
The supremacist golden globe winner was quick to counter:

"Before I worked at Goldman Sachs I studied the Holocaust at Cambridge, and this situation is completely different from the Warsaw Ghetto. I don't have to point out there are no jews inside Gaza"


Visibly moved, he tugged at his director's cut schindler's list t-shirt and explained how he wanted to reach out, past their worthless parents, to Gaza's young. He hoped they would join his youth club - Habonim Dror.

"We don't sit around feeling sorry for ourselves just because we have no food or electricity" he says passionately "...we learn about leadership, the genocide in Darfur and how brave soldiers die trying to steal Lebanon's water"

Both Labour and Conservative 'Enemies of Palestine' parliamentary pressure groups are as enthusiastic about this project as they are about the liberation of Gaza's gas deposits from their rightful owners. They urged Gordon Brown to support it. In response, the fat cunt reiterated part of last years speech to them:

"When I was growing up, Kirkcaldy and Tel Aviv were linked very closely because my father used to spend many weeks in Israel...I learned very young of the struggles, the sacrifices the achievements of the new state of Israel and, as long as they're writing the cheques, the Palestinians can go fuck themselves."

Horrific Photgraphs of murdered palestinians courtesy of Progressive Independent

Conspiraloons™ are NOT Conspi-racists!!

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A frequent criticism of Conspiraloonery™ made by the paid shills in the corporate mainstream media is that Conspiraloons™ are really secret Conspi-racists and that when we talk about REPTILIAN ALIEN OVERLORDS we are really talking Jewish people



All of them

Much play is made out of the fact that Conspiraloons™ frequently make reference to reports that a group of Israelis set up video cameras on the morning of 9/11 so that they could film themselves singing and dancing as the Twin Towers were destroyed

...or that they later admitted on Israeli television to knowing about the 9/11 attacks in advance

... or that Israeli agents have a proven track record for dressing up as Arabs and setting off bombs

...or that employees of an Israeli-owned company based in one of the Twin Towers were warned not to come into work that morning

...or that Israeli-owned security companies were involved in transport security in London on 7/7

This, so the mainstream cover-story goes, proves the conspi-racist roots of Conspiraloonery™ and that all Conspiraloons™ hate Jews

especially 'SELF-HATING' Jewish Conspiraloons™ - they’re the worst

There are, of course, two very good reasons why this isn’t so:

Firstly, criticism of the behaviour of the State of Israel is not the same thing as anti-semitism - in the same way that criticism of the behaviour and foreign policy of the British Government and its security agencies would not be the same thing as being anti-British

Secondly, and much more importantly, True™ Conspiraloons™ know that the Israelis weren’t behind 9/11 anyway

It was, of course...

The Welsh

IT’S ABOUT THE COAL STUPID!!

Sure, there may have been a few Mossad agents doing the Macarena in New Jersey on the morning of 9/11 but recently declassified satellite photos PROOVE™ that something much more sinister, and much more Welsh, was taking place much closer to Ground Zero




The Truth™ is that The Mossad, MI6, The CIA, The Freemasons, The IMF, The World Bank, The UN, are all unknowing pawns of their Welsh controllers and all being manipulated to bring about a NEW WELSH ORDER to make way for the coming of a new Messiah who will rule us all in the name of his Scaly Alien Overlords



and don't say he didn't warn you...





Other True™ Proof™ that it is the leek-chompers who are really running things-

• Well, their flag is a bit of a give-away isn’t it?

• Several Welsh people were POSITIVELY IDENTIFIED as being in New York on 9/11

• The Welsh have penetrated the Truth Movement with crypto-Welsh infiltrators who have poisoned the Movement from within from Day One – most notably those arch disinformation agents Steven JONES, Alex JONES and SAINT DAVID Ray Griffin

Alex Jones – a complete and total Celt

• The name Shayler is in fact Welsh for Mushroom

• The Welsh dominate ownership and staffing of the mainstream media – especially in the field of popular culture where their paid agents corrupt the purity of our Youth with their lewd, suggestive song lyrics and skimpy swimwear

• Atlantis (correct spelling Atllantis, correct pronunciation Atkhhhlantis) was in fact Wales

So, remember, Conspiraloons™ are NOT conspi-racist. We just go where the FACTS take us

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Reach for the Stars!! Climb Every Mountain Higher!

.
A fellow Truth™ Seeker writes...

"During a recent visit to the Common Purpose website my eye was drawn immediately to their rather peculiar logo, which very much reminded me of an equally peculiar feature of the new £20 note issued only few weeks ago. Both images are reproduced below and raise a number of intriguing questions..."


Read on HERE!!

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The Zionist Role in 9/11

It is time the Conspiraloon™ Alliance addressed the very serious issue of the ZIONIST role in 9/11.

What many non Conspiraloons™ fail to grasp is the FACT™ that ZIONISM exists outside of time and s p a c e and is therefore to able exercise it's EVIL!! influence on ALL!! of human history in the PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE!!

A fellow TRUTH SEEKER has put together a quality piece of anti-reptilian infotainment in an attempt to wake people up to the TRUTH™. Please note the extensive and skillful use of THROBBING, fluorescent, mutli-coloured fonting that puts all lesser efforts to shame...



There are also a couple of shots of some bloke holding a BLUE PILL and a RED PILL. FUCK ME!! I wish I'd thought of that

Enjoy...