Peter Power, a former senior Metropolitan Police officer, explains this is no easy job

Look into my bollocks

Mysterious idiot savant Peter Power was hauled into the tricknological heart of mainstream propoganda to give his valueless hapenceworth on the punishing of the palsied.

Quite why a thoroughly undistinguished dorset ex-policeman (whose sad departure from that force remains shrouded in mystery) was chosen eludes us all.

Perhaps there is only a small group of people to choose from.

Perhaps they keep him, and others, in the vast, underground caves beneath the sinister, and clearly feminised, "Television Centre".

This diagram clearly identifies the balleen of the feminine of which we are all krill

As they used to say on saturday afternoons of fond memory, here are the results:

The protesters are young, fit and intelligent and the officers are desperately trying to allow them to protest because they have a genuine right, he says.

So the fuzz were batoning their gifted betters towards parliament?

Every officer has to be accountable for his or her actions but it is unclear at which point a line is crossed, says Mr Power.

So it`s left to the busy, stressed, frontline armoured individual to ponder these fine lines?

The linked article is chock full of this sort of bollocks, so I will restrict the selection to mr powers most crazed. Of course, like julian assange`s 3 million afghan `war logs`, all good citizens should scrutinise the original to their own individual satisfaction.

"Now they all start off looking like Dixon of Dock Green, without helmets and shields, but can quickly go to Darth Vader,"

Likening our beloved bobbies to the ruthless agent of an ancient, intergalactic imperium is perhaps giving the game away too easily. Loose tongues cost lives, Peter.

undercover policeman

They (...horses....) work alongside lines of officers in fluorescent jackets having tennis balls hurled at them, in preparation for missiles as hard as bricks. Only the most passive horses are selected for the work.

It`s telling how even these subsistence level draught animals have to be filtered for signs of dissent before they are considered 'fit for purpose'.

What they do with the nags that don't fit in

Mr Power adds that horses only ever walk, never charge, into a crowd, and are considered a passive tactic - more user-friendly than baton rounds (plastic bullets) or tear gas.

Who are these 'users' they are trying to be so fucking friendly with?

I would like to make it that while I am extremely critical of the use of the police force for base political motives, they would be the first ones I would run to if I was the victim of a crime.

Because, easy or not, that is their fucking job.