Saturday, 26 July 2008

A new cosmic download from God

As everyone knows, the Queen™ is hooked on YouTube and has a YouTube electrickery machine attached to the complex system of Messianic pipes in every study in all her hices (sic).

The Messiah™, never one to miss a cross-media marketing advertising and PRopaganda opportunity, demonstrates how to cut together a load of hastily cobbled together old shit, recorded under duress at gunpoint, into a divine revelation.


Stef said...

if you watch this video very closely, or even not very closely at all, you'll witness conclusive proof of the existence of alternative dimensions - as David flips in and out of this plane of existence literally dozens of times

paul said...

Perhaps he's just having a laugh, it is possuble he's got the best job in the world, for a certain type.

The Antagonist said...

Blessed are the cheese makers.

God's-a-strapped on his Jesus creepers and is embarking upon his international global world planet tour that's coming to a town near you, er, no, sorry... a town a long long way away from anywhere, soon.

Note: The following quoted text is the word of God, as delivered by The Messiah™ (aka: TM™) himself. With a little help from Yahoo™.

Sermon on the Mount

The Messiah will be giving the Sermon on the Mount, this Friday.

Time: 7:00pm
Date: 1 August 2008
Place: Roseberry Topping (nr Nunthorpe, Cleveland)

Eleven years earlier -- to the day -- David was suddenly arrested in France at the request of the British government after offering Tony Blair evidence of MI6 funding associates of Osama Bin Laden in Libya to carry out an assassination, which went wrong killing innocent people.

Dave Shayler

PS grateful if receipients could spread this as widely as possible. You may not want to hear a message of love and salvation but others might.

There endeth the Message from The Messiah™ (aka: TM™).

The Antagonist said...

Thinking about it, if Shayler is The Messiah™ (TM™) why isn't he spouting his universe bending nonsense in churches?

Let's face it, Messiahs come but once every 2,000 or so years (or every 20 days if you count everyone that's declared themselves a messiah). You'd think the churches would be overcome with joy that tall the berobed imposters who preach there all the time could at last be replaced with The™ Real™ Thing™.

By rights he should be luncheoning with the Queen, the torch-bearer of the Divine Right.

Does the pope know Jesus is back?

Have they met?

Did they meet at Bilderberg?

These are just some of the questions that need answering.

The Antagonist said...

And who the fuck is Roseberry Topping?

Any relation to Tony Topping?

Anonymous said...

if anyones thinking of going,take your hiking boots because you're in for a looong walk.The topping doesn't look like the wiki picture anymore.Vandals managed to shear off the rocky outcrop a few years ago.Theres a nice Ice cream shop in the closest village,I bet thats why hes really chosen the arse end of nowhere to speak.

paul said...

Messiahs are rarely welcome in existing churches ergo DS is genuinely a messiah