Wednesday, 30 January 2008

Peanut Butter - The Atheist's Nightmare!!

It looks like someone has been sneaking Truthons™ into America's favourite sandwich filling...


Monday, 28 January 2008

Announcing the Conspiraloon™ One True Antichrist™ of the Year™ awards 2008


Just a reminder that the deadline for nominations for this year's One True Antichrist™ of the Year contest closes on 31st of this month

Please send your nominations, along with supporting calculations and the all-important £100 (cash only) administration fee to the usual PO Box

Please also remember that incomplete applications, i.e. any which fail to include...
  • reference to at least one Biblical prophecy
  • at least one astrological chart
  • photographic proof that your nominee's earthly kingdom has been announced by way of coded symbolism hidden in the retail packaging of at least one popular household product
  • a numerological connection between some variation of the nominee's name and The Mark of the Beast (no less than two A4 pages long, please)
  • a photograph of an exploding star
...will be rejected automatically

For anyone who hasn't prepared an application before here's an example of how it's done -

Is the Antichrist Russian President Putin?


Saturday, 26 January 2008

Logo of the month - January

Who can compete with the breathless, searing honesty of u.s. secret state artists?

Contrast it with this tepid british offering:

In Rumsfeld's view, the free press can co-exist with government sponsored/produced/paid news. "It doesn't mean we have to infringe on the role of the free press, they can go do what they do, and that's fine," says Rumsfeld. "
Well, it's not fine, but it's what it is, let's put it that way."
The excellent Winter Patriot puts it rather more straightforwardly:

The twice unelected President George W. Bush, the twice unelected Vice President Dick Cheney, current Secretary of State and former National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of State Colin Powell, former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, former White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, and former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan.

The deliberately deceitful actions of these eight people ... have resulted directly and immediately in the unwarranted deaths of at least a million people, and the unnecessary destruction of the lives of millions more.
And it will kill and ruin many more, no matter how or when it ends.
And, by lucky coincidence, aangirfan, has a piece on 'home-grown' information terror

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Film Special

The Alliance's notoriously unreliable show business sources inform us that the cruelly overrated Sacha Baron Cohen is all set to exhume his hit comedy character 'Borat' in a sequel set in present day Gaza.

Mr Cohen ,whose 'modus hilarity' might well be described as 'by way of deception', is clearly concerned about the rise of anti semitism there.

"It's a responsibility I cannot shirk." said the oscar nominee. "It's close to my home in Tel Aviv and the economic situation means I can pay even less than those peasants got in Romania".

Ever the optimist, and a great believer in the healing power of laughter, he continued:

"One of the great things is I can re-use so much material! I can appear at a burst sewage tank and shout 'It's all the fucking jews' while dancing around the children drowned in shit."

"If someone gets hit by an airstrike I'll say 'This is jew work', that way they'll realise it's their own fault!"

He remains aware that the situation on the ground might pose some production problems:

"It'll be hard to work in the 'Throw a jew down the well' song, as there isn't any drinking water in that area anymore" the perfectionist reflected morosely.

Naturally, there's a serious side to this comedy zionist's project:
Through his light hearted strategy, he hopes to enlighten the residents of Gaza regarding their resentment of the chosen people. He says of his character:

"By himself being anti-Semitic, he lets people lower their guard and expose their own prejudice, whether it's anti-Semitism or an acceptance of anti-Semitism. I want them to realise this before we finally get rid of them all"

Some might wonder if his unique brand of humour will be relevant amongst the carnage of a military occupation and the brutal privations of illegal collective punishment by Israel's army.
The supremacist golden globe winner was quick to counter:

"Before I worked at Goldman Sachs I studied the Holocaust at Cambridge, and this situation is completely different from the Warsaw Ghetto. I don't have to point out there are no jews inside Gaza"

Visibly moved, he tugged at his director's cut schindler's list t-shirt and explained how he wanted to reach out, past their worthless parents, to Gaza's young. He hoped they would join his youth club - Habonim Dror.

"We don't sit around feeling sorry for ourselves just because we have no food or electricity" he says passionately "...we learn about leadership, the genocide in Darfur and how brave soldiers die trying to steal Lebanon's water"

Both Labour and Conservative 'Enemies of Palestine' parliamentary pressure groups are as enthusiastic about this project as they are about the liberation of Gaza's gas deposits from their rightful owners. They urged Gordon Brown to support it. In response, the fat cunt reiterated part of last years speech to them:

"When I was growing up, Kirkcaldy and Tel Aviv were linked very closely because my father used to spend many weeks in Israel...I learned very young of the struggles, the sacrifices the achievements of the new state of Israel and, as long as they're writing the cheques, the Palestinians can go fuck themselves."

Horrific Photgraphs of murdered palestinians courtesy of Progressive Independent

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

A little something to while away those long winter nights

Masonic Board Game!!

The Masonic Board Game is a different Masonic educational tool. Developed specifically for the Masonic body, the Masonic Board Game is a fun and exciting way to learn or teach about Freemasonry! The board game is made of top quality materials, all cards feel firm and the board is very solid.

Masonic Board Game uses:

  • Further Masonic knowledge in Brothers.

  • Raise interest for all Brothers to study and increase Masonic knowledge.

  • "Game board night" at your house or lodge.

  • Masonic knowledge "competitions."

  • Use the Game Board as a "decorative" item to spark interest and promote Freemasonry in a positive manner.

  • As one lodge pointed out, great in-lodge raffle item, promotional, or other special lodge event item.

Read more here!!


Friday, 18 January 2008

Joining the dots-one of an endless series

Connecting the "dots" is one of the few truly human pleasures left to the depraved personality that comprises a genuine conspiraloon.
Upon my return from my latest alien abduction, I was struck by the sheer weirdness of the information presented by the hated mainstream media. Nothing in my newly minted dental implants could explain what what was presented before me!
I therefore throw myself on the mercy and generosity that is the hallmark of the gentle conspiraloon community!
The first question that that vexed me was of the motivations of our middle east envoy to stand shoulder to shoulder with this monster?

Tony Blair is widening his post-premiership portfolio by becoming an unpaid adviser to the Rwandan government of President Kagame.
What on earth can our former prime minster can have in common with:
  • A Ugandan military leader who used terrorist activity to attack a sovereign government?
  • Who is suspected of assassinating his political rivals?
  • Trained by the american military?
  • Responsible fo the deaths of hundreds and thousands of innocent people?
  • A leader who imprisons opponents without evidence or trial?
  • Internally displaced a million people in the country he invaded?
  • Created over a million refugees from the country he 'liberated'?
  • A keen tennis player and football fan?
Beats me.............

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Could Uncle Tom be the New One True Messiah™?!!



"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing [sic] our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"


Friday, 11 January 2008

We interrupt this transmission to bring you a word from our sponsors

The mainstream media.

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Wednesday, 9 January 2008

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen

The One True Messiah™ gets Funkkkky!!

Great News Messiah fans!!

Not merely content with his consistently high ranking in the Conspiraloon
Top 10 Messiah Chart, Muad'Dib is launching an assault on the conventional terrestrial music charts...

Long Live the Funksters!!


Monday, 7 January 2008

Friday, 4 January 2008

James Bond is the Messiah 007!!!

HE Only Lives Twice ... but that's all HE needs!!!

Yes, it's true, the Messiah is James Bond 007 and HE says that Mirza Ghulam Ahmad was a one-eyed-dajjalic-impostor! (You must pronounce the last 'o' in that as 'awwwww')

Check HIM out!!! HE has landed!!! And HIS landing page is: