Sunday 30 December 2007

Messiah Movie News - Neo to play Klaatu!!

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Yes, it's true fellow Messianic Movie fans - The One is going to play One of the Other Ones in a remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still


"I know Kung-Fu!"


Yes, it's all coming together as all Messiah figures, however lame and Californian, are gradually combined into one MegaMessiah™ in time for 2012


an artist's impression of what Japan might look like towards the end of 2012


Home-grown Essex-based Messiah and Once and Future King of England, Muad'dib is reported to be 'fucking gutted' at the news that he didn't land the part
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Sunday 23 December 2007

Conclusive PROOF!!™ that RV is NOT bollocks!!

Illuminated Manuscript

Your hero and mine, Good Will Hutton has been at the guardian blackboard again! Unfortunately he's also been necking the cleaning fluid his janitor's job gives him access to!!
What, as serious minded conspiracy scientists, are we to make of this??:

Ideas start deep below public consciousness. So what have been the ideas that have incubated in 2007? Here are my five ideas - not, I am the first to concede, the only five - that I believe will surely have an impact and, in the round, for the better.
I think he means above, instead of below,an easy mistake for someone in his position, and this is a time of year for forgiveness, anyway back to the big ideas;
The controversies over Islam should not blind us to the advantage of a belief in a God who rewards good and punishes bad....non-fundamentalist faith is a source of spiritual good
By 'controversies
' I assume he alludes to the 'protocols' we at the alliance have done so much to discredit or maybe even the anti islamic rhetoric his rag has been spewing for the last few years.
It may be wishful thinking on my part, but visceral Euroscepticism increasingly seems batty - and the planks with which it is built rotting.
Wrong again, young idiot savant, euroscepticism, with the superstate's transmogrification into an educator and enforcer of market correctness and continental graft, is rightly coming into it's own. I know you're reflecting on 2007, but cast your mind back to all those protests on the hated mainland europe which dissuaded our brave government from signing up to the great constitution treaty.
The next one's a killer:
Centre-right think-tank Policy Network asks why the rich give so little to charity.
I think that's because it would reduce their richness, from which their high self worth springs.
For the first time since the 1970s, I detect a move. The case for income redistribution is being made once again.
By who? Gog Brnwo?
If that's not to your taste, how a bit of good old fashioned futurology:
Advances in neuroscience are matched by advances in social science that emphasise the early years' experience in shaping our characters. We are not born with innate dispositions. Rather, we make our destinies.
I was under the impression that no one really has a fucking clue about these things.
On to his final top five idea:
The Western enlightenment and even the US have begun to appear more attractive, the alternatives flawed.
I am lost for words, both religion, the US and the enlightenment's time has come? Simultaneously??!! All at once!!???!!!
He concludes with this hopeful note:

Maybe the world is getting better, after all.
As I said before, this is a time for forgiveness, and we should be grateful he has given us so much to forgive, the soft headed cunt.

Saturday 22 December 2007

Conspiracy? The CIA and the Nazis and Iraqi 'Translators'

History Channel Conspiraloonacy Extreme Version. Includes REAL TRUE™ FACTS™.



Of course, this sort of thing wouldn't happen today, right under our noses. No, siree. Oppose the illegal invasion of Iraq by the coalition of the killing, then support the war criminals that helped kill over a million of their countryfolk.



It's logic, Jim, but not as we know it.

Friday 21 December 2007

Peak oil is a SCAM!!

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WARNING: SCAM!!


... and Pastor Lindsey Williams explains WHY
  • and HOW

  • and what They are planning to do to us

  • and who 'They' really are

though he does take a wee while going about it...

he doesn't tell us in the first clip!





or the second, third, fourth, or fifth...


he does in the sixth

but only after a little teasing...







...and then the inspirational finale

Some of what Pastor Lindsey has to say is undoubtedly Truthy™

Some isn't

but would we really want it any other way?

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Wednesday 19 December 2007

A message from Klaatu



I am leaving soon and you'll forgive me if I speak bluntly.

The universe grows smaller every day and the threat of aggression by any group anywhere can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all or no one is secure. Now this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly. Your ancestors knew this when they made laws to govern themselves and hired policemen to enforce them. We, of the other planets, have long accepted this principle. We have an organization for the mutual protection of all planets and for the complete elimination of aggression. The test of any such higher authority is, of course, the police force that supports it. For our policemen we created a race of robots. Their function is to patrol the planets in spaceships like this one and preserve the peace. In matters of aggression we have given them absolute power over us. This power cannot be revoked. At the first signs of violence they act automatically against the aggressor. The penalty forprovoking their action is too terrible to risk. The result is we live in peace without arms or armies, secure in theknowledge that we are free from aggression and war, free to pursue more profitable enterprises. Now, we do not pretend to have achieved perfection, but we do have a system, and it works. I came here to give you these facts. It is no concern of ours how you run your own planet, but if you threaten to extend your violence, this Earth of yours will be reduced to a burned-out cinder.




Your choice is simple: join us and live in peace, or pursue your present course and face obliteration. We shall be waiting for your answer. The decision rests with you.


and PS Why the fuck aren't I in your Messiah™ Trumps pack?


(Klaatu is currently working on his new truth video which will blow the lid off high-level Welsh involvement in the 9/11 attacks. Cash donations to help complete this important work sent to his Zeta-Reticulan registered PO Box WILL guarantee your personal salvation)

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Saturday 15 December 2007

How Stonehenge was built NOT!!




I don't know who this guy thinks he is but he's a LIAR!! I tell you


A LIAR!!


Stone Circles were BUILT BY FUCKING ALIENS and anyone who tells you otherwise is working for them

Also note that this Stone Circle fakery takes place in Flint, Michigan; the spawning place of that notorious Untruth-herder MICHAEL MOORE...

Is there a connection?

Is the Pope a Catholic?




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Friday 14 December 2007

Conspiraloons™ are NOT Conspi-racists!!

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A frequent criticism of Conspiraloonery™ made by the paid shills in the corporate mainstream media is that Conspiraloons™ are really secret Conspi-racists and that when we talk about REPTILIAN ALIEN OVERLORDS we are really talking Jewish people



All of them

Much play is made out of the fact that Conspiraloons™ frequently make reference to reports that a group of Israelis set up video cameras on the morning of 9/11 so that they could film themselves singing and dancing as the Twin Towers were destroyed

...or that they later admitted on Israeli television to knowing about the 9/11 attacks in advance

... or that Israeli agents have a proven track record for dressing up as Arabs and setting off bombs

...or that employees of an Israeli-owned company based in one of the Twin Towers were warned not to come into work that morning

...or that Israeli-owned security companies were involved in transport security in London on 7/7

This, so the mainstream cover-story goes, proves the conspi-racist roots of Conspiraloonery™ and that all Conspiraloons™ hate Jews

especially 'SELF-HATING' Jewish Conspiraloons™ - they’re the worst

There are, of course, two very good reasons why this isn’t so:

Firstly, criticism of the behaviour of the State of Israel is not the same thing as anti-semitism - in the same way that criticism of the behaviour and foreign policy of the British Government and its security agencies would not be the same thing as being anti-British

Secondly, and much more importantly, True Conspiraloons™ know that the Israelis weren’t behind 9/11 anyway

It was, of course...

The Welsh



IT’S ABOUT THE COAL STUPID!!


Sure, there may have been a few Mossad agents doing the Macarena in New Jersey on the morning of 9/11 but recently declassified satellite photos PROOVE™ that something much more sinister, and much more Welsh, was taking place much closer to Ground Zero




The Truth is that The Mossad, MI6, The CIA, The Freemasons, The IMF, The World Bank, The UN, are all unknowing pawns of their Welsh controllers and all being manipulated to bring about a NEW WELSH ORDER to make way for the coming of a new Messiah who will rule us all in the name of his Scaly Alien Overlords



and don't say he didn't warn you...





Other True™ Proof™ that it is the leek-chompers who are really running things-


  • Well, their flag is a bit of a give-away isn’t it?


  • Several Welsh people were POSITIVELY IDENTIFIED as being in New York on 9/11
  • The Welsh have penetrated the Truth Movement with crypto-Welsh infiltrators who have poisoned the Movement from within from Day One – most notably those arch disinformation agents Steven JONES, Alex JONES and SAINT DAVID Ray Griffin

Alex Jones – a complete and total Celt

  • The name Shayler is in fact Welsh for Mushroom
  • The Welsh dominate ownership and staffing of the mainstream media – especially in the field of popular culture where their paid agents corrupt the purity of our Youth with their lewd, suggestive song lyrics and skimpy swimwear


  • Atlantis (correct spelling Atllantis, correct pronunciation Atkhhhlantis) was in fact Wales

So, remember, Conspiraloons™ are NOT conspi-racist. We just go where the FACTS take us


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Conspiraloon™ Alliance: It's a ConspiraTee™ Shirt


Conspiraloon™ Alliance: It's a ConspiraTee™ Shirt


Special end times edition.
Order now, before the world ends.
Again!

Nice Quote of the Month

From the excellent Bill Blum:

" Finally, there's September 11, 2001. Amongst those in the "9/11 Truth Movement" I am a sinner because I don't champion the idea that it was an "inside job". I think it more likely that some individuals in the Bush administration knew that something was about to happen involving airplanes -- perhaps an old fashioned hijacking with political demands -- and they let it happen, to make use of it politically, as they certainly have.
But I do wish you guys in the 9/11 Truth Movement luck; if you succeed in proving that it was an inside job, that would do more to topple the empire than anything I have ever written."
Regularly good stuff here

Logo of the Month - December

Everything you'll ever need to know

Tuesday 11 December 2007

Pow -El gets a proper job



Having tirelessly served the people for the last few years, rather than retreat to his ice fortress, the sinister Pow-El has opted for a little ME time:

Jonathan Powell, one of Tony Blair's closest advisers during his time as UK prime minister, is set to enter the banking world after agreeing to join one of Wall Street's biggest firms.

Morgan Stanley's NY base which, like most of these buildings, strongly resembles a big friendly owl

Don't fret, the government is still in safe, scaly hands:

The appointment will further strengthen ties between the Labour government and the US bank after Gordon Brown appointed Jeremy Heywood as head of domestic policy in June.

Mr Heywood, who quit as principal private secretary to Mr Blair in 2003, subsequently spent four years as co-head of Morgan Stanley's UK investment banking business before taking his position in Mr Brown's cabinet.

What special expertise will Pow-El bring to the house of Morgan Stanley? After all, his only real experience is in the controlled demolition of Yugoslavia, Afghanistan and Iraq.


"Why don't you take off that itty-bitty shirt. Them panties too. "

What, beyond his "young, purdy mouth", can this modest destroyer of societies offer a merchant bank?
According to Morgan Stanley's recruitment supremo (above):

Mr Powell will be responsible for introducing the bank to important governmental and corporate clients he met during his time as aide to Mr Blair.

We have underground samizdat publication, The Daily Telegraph to thank for confirming what we at the Alliance have long suspected:

It has become increasingly commonplace for investment banks to hire former government ministers and politicians to introduce them to clients and brief them on government policy.....
Former Conservative prime minister John Major is a senior adviser to Credit Suisse while ex-German chancellor Gerhard Schröder works part-time for Rothschild.
Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi spent time with Goldman Sachs before and after his first spell as Italian leader in the 1990s.

Morgan Stanley declined to comment.

I hope you, brothers and sisters, do not feel the same way.

Sunday 25 November 2007

In Your Face From Outer Space!!

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This one's for JD...


Arsenal of Hypocrisy - NASA and the Military Industrial Complex



This powerful video starts with the origins of NAZA and Operation Paperclip, moves on through the history of the weaponisation of space before getting onto the really important stuff i.e. the imminent exploitation of Martian natural resources with nuclear-powered robotic mining vehicles...

  • Stop this happening before it's too late!!

  • Protest against extra- terrestrial nuclear powered robotic mining vehicles NOW!!

- featuring several clips of Gnome Chomsky so you know it's Guaranteed 100% Distraction-Free!!


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Friday 23 November 2007

The Untouchables - The Conspira™ Version

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Time for some Classic Retro-Loonery™...

and I'm not talking about bell-bottoms



...not today anyway

  • Do you want to learn about COMMUNIST BANKERS?

Of course you do

  • Would you like to see some PYRAMIDS?

Who wouldn't

  • Do you want to hear about the origins of the FEDERAL RESERVE for the umpteenth time?

It never gets old

  • Do you crave 1960's US cop show style narration?


The New World Order stops here...


Well, it would certainly make a change


Then you need to see 'The Capitalist Conspiracy'





...made by a bloke with 'Griffin' in his name so you know it's just got to be True!!™


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Wednesday 21 November 2007

Monday 19 November 2007

Share the light,split the cash

The Alliance has been rocked by the looming defection of one of its charter members. I immediately analysed the ramifications of this using the alliance's most powerful super computer. The results were,frankly, shocking.
By moving his vast wealth offshore:

  • airstrip one's currency collapses
  • share prices plunge
  • and ordinary people start eyeing up their families' gold fillings
Here's the computer projection of life after these changes:


Not a pretty picture, brothers and sisters, I think you'll agree.

Testing times clearly lie ahead, and I confess I was thrown into a deep depression . I racked by my brains for an answer....and then it came to me.......I picked up the phone and spoke to the one person who could help.


Julia Middleton (above), the surprisingly approachable leader of neo-masons, common purpose, was quick to grasp the situation. She swiftly made her way to the Alliance pyramid to plan for the coming apocalypse.
The first option, of turning the defector to stone, was dismissed. It would only forestall the cataclysm, not prevent it. A naval blockade, using a flotilla of Al Gore's ice borne,mind controlled polar bears, was also discussed and rejected.
It was then she revealed that we should court disaster, not avoid it. See this as an opportunity, not a crisis!!

"For too long we have skulked in the shadows"
she hissed, knuckles whitening around her wand
"...all our cadres are in place, and our time has come....
our diversity agenda will bring order out of chaos"

I nervously moved the subject on to what people would wear in this new order.

"Diversity",
she croaked,
squeezing the shrunken,
mummified head of norman gerrish
hanging at her waist
"is between leaders and followers."

Clearly, this distinction would have to be open and transparent for people to accept their destiny. As most popular science fiction depicts everybody wearing uniforms, someone had to take charge of this matter....
Recognising our leading position in the world of conspiracy theories on the internet, she charged the Alliance with designing the common purpose fashionkampf clothing line.

Brothers and sisters, I am proud to present you with the LEADERSHIP range:

and the CITIZEN range:


When you're in with 'the purpose', you're made. Money flows directly from the Citizens to the Leadership. The synergetic coupling of our two great movements spells a rosy future for the Alliance....................

Sunday 18 November 2007

Get a load of this fucking cunt

Counterfactual fiction is a popular genre where turning points in history are reconsidered with a different outcome than the one we accept as reality.
Usually they involve Hitler winning the WW2 and we find ourselves in a world where nazi sympathisers such as IBM, Coca Cola, the Thyssen-Bornemisza and Bush families actually profit from the war! Henceforth this is now officially old hat.
We have entered the age of counterfactual reality.....

Meet the Family
POW-EL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA POE-EL
The Powell family have been assigned the franchise of political handlers by our overlords. Between them, they have diligently tended the dismantling of representative government we have enjoyed over the last 30 years. Curiously the two wings of this management team pronounce their surnames differently; brother Charles takes the aristocratic styling of 'POE-EL' while Jonathan favours Enoch's earthy, demotic 'POW-EL', as befits one who leans to the left. Maybe they do it lest the 'general public' realise they came from the same clutch of reptile eggs.

Accept their alien gift to our planet

This talented family have today gifted us with an entirely new subgenre in POW-EL's extraordinary piece in the Observer:
which takes the final step into counterfactual-reality.
POW - EL's article, like the man himself, is obviously from another planet...I am content to let his words speak for themselves:
We now know Saddam didn't have them. But to suggest it was all a conspiracy between Tony Blair and George W Bush to pretend he did is nonsense.

So suggesting it was all a matter of Alastair Campbell cobbling together a dossier to pretend there were weapons of mass destruction is nonsense

We should have been clear we were removing Saddam because he was a ruthless dictator suppressing his people. But the lawyers said there was no legal basis for proceeding on these grounds, and so we were not able to make this case as wholeheartedly as I would have liked.
When you remove a brutal dictator who has annihilated all opposition for 30 years, it is inevitable you will face a period of anarchy when he is gone. All the basics of an ordinary society and law and order are not there.

And most of all it means trying to ensure that the US does not revert to isolationism. If it withdraws into itself as it did after Vietnam and Somalia, I fear it will face another 9/11 and all the rest of us will suffer.

Once the Sunnis have come to terms with sharing power with the Shia, our task will be done. It is only when there is a political settlement that we will be able to leave.

In Iran, I am not in favour of a military option because I don't think it is practical.

The threat we face is from those that advocate isolationism, protectionism and nativism - and it is striking how the debate on immigration has taken off in Europe and in the US.

The enemy are the people who want to divide us into groups, to turn people against one another and take society backwards.
There you have it, brothers and sisters, NWO thinking in its orginal nut shell:
We'll attack anyone we want, whenever we can get away with it, and if it goes hard on the liberated, well that's foreigners for you.
If you can find a word of truth in the whole piece, you're a better man than I.

The Chalk Marks of Truth

Good Will Hutton has once again forsaken his mop, crimped tinfoil around his pate and started scribbling on the guardian briefing room blackboard!
Strong words:

Unless Alistair Darling acts, the financial sharks will make a killing while taxpayers lose billions!

During the last week, the amazing amoral asymmetry of the way the government has approached this affair - the taxpayer picks up the bill while the bankers and shareholders are in the driving seat in the service of making private fortunes - has been progressively unmasked!!
and intriguing questions:
Or has the Treasury accepted that it will have to foot part of the bill for Northern Rock's zombie legacy???
Writing furiously, he then dares to resurrect an idea from the dark ages we were so forcibly ejected from:
Nazionalisation!!!

Which, as any schoolchild with a gcse in economics, history or religious education knows, is but one step from the communist gulag. Indeed, more sober heads spell out the real priorities:
A source in the City says: 'There is a lot riding on a successful sale of Northern Rock - the reputation of the government, and London's standing as an international financial centre.'
Good Will's nemesis, therefore, is none other than the brooding, mysterious First Lord of the Treasury. Witness his previous thoughts on a similar matter:
"Mr Brown warned yesterday in his keynote conference speech that re-nationalisation would cost £22 billion.If we had £22 billion to spend it will not be for an expensive re-nationalisation. We will put investment into schools and hospitals first,"
or deadbeat financial institutions, he murmured beneath his laboured breath....

Saturday 17 November 2007

M'luddite

The pointless and cruel vilification of one of society's unfortunates could easily be dismissed as a bit of a laugh. Part of the normal, ritual humiliation reserved within our entertainment complexes for the underclass.
However, the hardened conspiracist will always look for a deeper explanation to everyday events like these.
Bringing the full glare of conspirolight™ banishes the shadows from this murky affair. It is nothing less than a struggle within the human power elite over the lumpen's utopian technological destiny.
What sheriff Colin Miller did when sentencing this pioneer, was a naked attempt to thwart the man machine society our most attention seeking scientists have predicted for the last century.
Practically everyday, we are promised exciting new developments. Take this edition of the popular science programme, Horizon:

Meet the scientific prophets who claim we are on the verge of creating a new type of human - a human v2.0.

It's predicted that by 2029 computer intelligence will equal the power of the human brain. Some believe this will revolutionise humanity - we will be able to download our minds to computers extending our lives indefinitely. Others fear this will lead to oblivion by giving rise to destructive ultra intelligent machines.

One thing they all agree on is that the coming of this moment - and whatever it brings - is inevitable.

The key words 'revolutionise humanity' are among the most feared by the elite. As ancient guardians of our interests, they well know the folly of such talk. However, when faced with inevitability, harsh decisions have to be made. On one hand, we have the idealistic and apolitical science faction, on the other, a reactionary grouping who dread the upheaval our technological evolution will bring.

A typical sheriff has old fashioned views about sex
and fears oblivion by destructive ultra intelligent machines

A typical scientist is always open to new ideas and thinks
we will download our minds onto computers

This very 'weblog' alerted both of our readers to the coming age of robot love . We had no idea a member of the public would take these matters into his own hands. His subsequent punishment revealed the dark forces organising against our mechanoid liberation.
Who will triumph in this desperate futurkampf? Only a fully qualified scientist could dare make that prediction......

Thursday 15 November 2007

Alliance Logo of the month - November



As Rolf Harris used to say:

Can you guess what it is yet?

Wednesday 14 November 2007

That's just not cricket!

The wonderful thing about anti terror laws is their versatility. If you aren't against terror, you are pro-terror and therefore practically and legally a terrorist. Military strongman Pervez Musharraf is going about his anti terror business as he sees fit and has used the opportunity to lock up cricketing superstar (and husband of lizard princess Jemimah) Imran Khan.

Despite a reporting blackout, here is an exclusive picture of the general issuing the order:

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we are confident the prisoner's reply was something like this:

"I'll chase him round the outer nebula,
and round the antares maelstrom,
and round perditions flames
before I give him up!"
Of course, even with our formidable intelligence gathering here at the alliance, we can't be 100% sure about these quotes.

Our country, through the offices of government, can take credit for this in some small part. After all, only last november, our murderous,money grubbing chinese sales rep middle east envoy was shoulder to shoulder, wallet to wallet, in this whole anti terror business:

The president also said he believed resolution of the Palestinian dispute was at the "core" of the fight against terror, adding Mr Blair "agrees totally with me".

Mr Blair said the UK would double its development aid to Pakistan to £480m ($960m) over the next three years.

Much of this will go to the reform of the Islamic religious schools, or madrassas, some of which have been accused of encouraging extremism.

This reflects concerns a generation of young British Muslims are being radicalised through contact with the media,security services and the police militants in Pakistan.

There will also be a counter-terrorism package of technical assistance, worth some £8m ($15m), UK officials said.

Describing the weekend's talks as "immensely constructive", Mr Blair paid tribute to the president's "courage and his leadership" in taking Pakistan on "this journey of change and modernisation".

He said relations with Pakistan were at "their highest point for many years".

How could our leaders have suspected the true depth of the general's iniquity when they offered their help? Eight years of sweet words and dictatorship had lulled them into a false sense of security, only to have their trust thrown back in their faces by this force for stability brutal tyrant.
His treatment of Benazir Bhutto, who has dedicated her life to liberating Pakistan's downtrodden from their money, has been nothing short of shameful.
We should dismiss any thoughts that his reluctance to aid the destruction of iran and statements such as these:

ISLAMABAD: President Gen Pervez Musharraf assured Iranian President Mahmud Ahmadinejad on Thursday night that Pakistan would always have Iran’s interests close to its heart.

According to the Foreign Office, President Musharraf welcomed the Iranian president’s visit to Saudi Arabia and his meeting with King Abdullah. He expressed the confidence that this visit will strengthen the understanding between two neighbours and have a positive influence on the situation in the region. Pakistan has always desired peace and stability in the Middle East and the Gulf region.

Musahrraf’s telephone call, in the background of US threats to strike Iran and after a huge amount, sanctioned by the US for a regime change in Iran, is very significant. Pakistan has strongly opposed any attacks on Iran.

have anything to do with his change in circumstances. We should also endeavour to forget what Richard Armitage said when faced with previous moral weakness on musharraf's part:

General Musharraf said the intelligence director had told him that Mr. Armitage had said: “ ‘Be prepared to be bombed. Be prepared to go back to the Stone Age.’ ”

General Musharraf added, “I think it was a very rude remark.”


"peace and stability in the Middle East and the Gulf region"??

That's fighting talk!

Saturday 3 November 2007

What's the frequency Annie?


"For if Campbell had oversold the '45-minute allegation' and the Government's second dossier, he would embarrass the Secret Intelligence Services and Dearlove - a man with whom he was on on 'Sunday lunch terms' - by his 'appalling behaviour' in stuffing extracts from a plagiarised student thesis between two wedges of MI6 material to beef it up and claiming it as intelligence."

While I relish the spook's discomfort, it's interesting he:

"went on to say the conjunction of events relating to Iraq was highly unusual and unlikely to apply to issues such as Iran's nuclear programme."

The redevelopment of Iran into a glowing green car park is a heartfelt desire amongst those that matter. The embarrassment of an ex insider who is cautiously briefing against it would hardly upset these enthusiasts.