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90 comments:
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It must be comedy gold week.
Sacha Baron Cohen On Letterman: Cohen Describes How "Bruno" Got To Interview A Real Terrorist (VIDEO)
Or not, as the case may be.
looking forward to SBC's next hysterical incarnation as a racist, uzi-toting illegal settler in a souped-up bulldozer
Or not, as the case may be
What's this? A cheap parody of your most illustrious and honourable member, nay, dare I say, figurhead? A new low for the Conspraloon Alliance!
Or a calculated swipe at the more moderate elements of your organisation? I mean everyone knows that Auschwitz resembled Chessington World of Adventures more closely than Butlins.
Take me to your Lieder.
And it brings a tear to my eye to see you sniping at each other like this. I fondly remember those days at university when Dr. Nick kindly took you under his wing, noticing how impressionable and confused you were. It was characteristic of Dr. Nick that he should try to make the most out of his students' weaknesses. It was him who really gave you all a sense of direction, channelled your energies and nurtured your various talents into something that was to have a profound effect on the way humanity perceives itself - The Conspiraloon Alliance. The rest, as they say, is history, but it is worth taking a moment from the maelstrom of fame and success to remember Dr. Nick and the important early influence he had on you all. It was typical of his selfless commitment to the cause that he chose to pass the burden of leadership to his younger followers, no doubt realising that the increasingly complex task of maintaining web anonymity is perhaps best handled by the younger generation. I have composed this little ditty so that we can restore Dr. Nick's genius to its rightful place just ahead of the Enlightenment and Marx:
--
R.I.P., Astro3.
You gave us the clues to all life's mysteries:
The Jews, the Stars, the revisions of history;
But You went too far, when you touched Jon Dory.
--
(Words can be adapted to the late Michael Jackson's 'Smooth Criminal')
--
OR, place an order for my forthcoming book:
"ODIOUS BIFURCATION" - The untold, unofficial story of how a cabal of ruthless junior neo-Loons wrested control of the Alliance from a discredited old pervert in order to disseminate fear and confusion on a scale truly befitting the digital age.
Featuring a special introduction by Neo-Loon hawk Jon Dory, titled: "What Dr. Nick really did to me with 'that' cigar and why I can never forgive him".
AND a lengthy afterword by former Loon insider The Antagonist, in which he attempts to resolve the mystery that has puzzled him all his life, "Why does this fucking fascist state allow me to run a fucking anti-fascist blog?" Read this torturous account of one man's obsession as it gradually destroys him. Read how he is forced to terminate his own blog to make it look like the fascists shut it down. Weep at his descent into paranoia, unable to open his eyes without seeing the Union Jack all around him. And finally, read his blog, where nothing has been written for quite some time, signifying a full recovery. Readers who enjoyed this might like to order a copy of the author's latest book, "The Antagonist: Why I joined radical Loonery in Britain, what I saw inside and why I left". (10p from each copy sold goes towards Dr. Nick's Adopt-A-Crop-Circle summer charity appeal!)
I love how the frightened little trolls we get here never have their own blog.I bet you any money these fuckers are from the Beeb.
Its your own government who is sowing fear and confusion-not us.
You live here just like us.
Nick Kellerstrom has nothing to do with any reputable truth movement.Go do your pathetic little trolling act over at Tony Goslings forum.see how long you last where Dr Nick is actually appreciated/pushed.
If you don't have serious questions over any of the subjects we cover and you laugh about WAY too loudly,then its YOU who is the conspiracy theorist.
The last pile of conspiracy files puke has been torn apart by non loons.Decent honest researchers won't touch the beeb with a shit caked bargepole.You can smear us with lunatics like Ike shaylor and Dr Nick,but you can't get away from the questions we want answering.You are a branch of the government,so you are not capable of producing an honest documentary on 911,77,or the Illegal war of aggression on brown people.You are nothing more than propaganda.
How can you bite the hand that feeds you?
Go ahead laugh at us.You're losing your reputation as fast as your licence revenue.You've had your snouts in the public trough just as much as the fucking pigs who force us to pay you.No-one believes a word of what spews out of the beebs or the governments mouth anymore.They can hold as many narratives as they want.People know a stinking lie when they smell it.Its over for you fuckers cos we'll keep on fighting and we'll win™.
Oh what an angry little Gaviiform we are! I'd bet you all the money in the whole wide world that I don't work for the BBC you stupid little fuck. It says a great deal about your paranoid state of mind that you assume anyone taking the piss out of your silly little movement must be part of some state-funded conspiracy.
The bit about expecting people to come on here with "serious questions over any of the subjects we cover" really made me laugh.
And all along I thought this blog was intended to be funny! Do you mean to say that the Loons are really LUNATICS?
I'm afraid you're on the wrong blog for serious debate. I'm with the Loons on this one, I'm on here for the lame humour! We'll keep on fighting and we'll win! Hooraaaah!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints/forms/
Just wanted to chip in and say great kudos guys, great kudos.
An anonymous commentator complaining about anonymous commentators.
What ConspIronyloonery!
You've been hit by... You've been struck by... A Smooth Criminal...
and why bother with anonymity when you can post comments under somebody else's name, eh?
sauce for the goose, mustn't grumble
and if I was going to allow myself to be intefered with by a Troof Messiah I'd choose the latest incarnation of the Shayler Being over Dr Nick any
Loony quote of the week:
"Nick Kellerstrom [sic] has nothing to do with any reputable truth movement"
Instead, by a used car from us, The Conspiraloon Alliance.* We guarantee to sell you nothing but the Truth™!
*In previous adverts, we may have suggested that the truth is not something that can be branded or monopolised. We now realise that in order to successfully market our brand of the truth (Truth™), it is necessary to form an association of reputable purveyors of truth, so that the public can be assured that it is purchasing only quality, British truth.
True Truth is an elusive creature that's for sure
And as an unrepetent conspiraloon I'd never trust any association of purveyors who claimed to have a monopoly on anything
Nor would I place much trust in any person, or organisation, that tries so very, very hard to associate me or my chums with an utter twat we have no association, or sympathy, with
It's not very honest is it?
Why would someone do that?
Personally speaking, and as someone has already mentioned, these razor sharp insights into the mentality of all those who question Official Government narratives really are wasted here
They would however go down a storm here or even here, where a couple of them might even be valid
Please let us know how you get on
Kudos all round Stef, but beneath all that naughty Loon humour, our anonymous correspondent seems to be hinting that messrs. Kollerstrom, Shayler and Icke appear to be the best you've got. Well, there is the Conspiraloon Alliance, but their blog is only meant to be a fun, light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek review of the news, not a serious purveyor of truth. And you shouldn't be so snobbish about the websites of your fellow Truthers accross the pond when they get more readers than you!
Now, as I see it, this lack of popular support could be due to several reasons. I think the most rational and obvious one is that Kollerstrom and Shayler have been infected by a secret government bio-weapon that makes them look silly in public. When the leaders of the Alliance are made to look silly in this way, it slurs the whole movement. We know that such technology exists, because they've been using it on the Conservative Party for years.
Alternatively (now get ready for the juicy conspiracy), the Alliance is in actual fact made up of silly idiots! Proponents of this theory claim (they say logically) that the lack of support might be attributable to a general refusal amongst the population to believe any old twaddle they come accross on the internet. This outlandish theory is clearly ludicruous as it suggests that people have the ability to think for themselves. As we know, the world is made up entirely of BBC stooges, Mossad agents, and the brainwashed masses, so the idea that someone may have the independence of thought to read a blog and decide that it's utter tosh is clearly fanciful. For one thing, too many people would have to know about it to pull something like that off!
This goes to prove why you should always believe the official line. It's best to leave the Truth™ to those qualified to deal with it.*
*extracts from 'How the World will look after the Loon Revolution', Loon Publications (Science-Fiction), forthcoming.
nope
not very honest at all
If low circulation, poorly supported drivel is what you're after I can heartily recommend this site and, um, this one
I sense that anon is a somewhat unhappy, embittered person
though why he would hold conspiraloons responsible for that state of affairs is anyone's guess
sudokus to whoever put the rainbow fonting on that borderland s(h)ite together
it's well lush
no, No, NO Delores! Have you never been on YouTube? If you want to unsettle an opponent properly then you must really go for the kill. Unhappy and embittered makes a good start, but you should also try:
-bullied at school
-closet homosexual
-no friends
-never kissed a girl
-mentally unstable, unhinged
-aloof from society (ie, weird)
-on the dole
-Conspiraloon
..or just let them drivel on
a word of caution
never try closet homosexuality with self-assembled furniture
nice to see some cunt is already pretending to be me
i stopped posting somewhere in the first week of july, there's no more john dory, there's no more jon doy
there is nothing more
except thanks, i always considered you more than mere accomplices
monkey
Welcome to another episode of LoonWatch with me Bill Oddie and the stupid blonde one. At this time of year, I get a lot of mail from excited viewers asking if the funny bird they've seen might be a Loon. Sadly, the likelihood of spotting a Loon anywhere nowadays is extremely thin because the Loon is now on the brink of extinction. Only one remaining breeding colony is known to survive, in the ideal habitat of the Bermuda Triangle. One recent, promising report of a sighting turned out on closer inspection to be a tit, a common misidentification.
If you think you may have seen a Loon, it may help to know some Loon characteristics:
-The Loon is a bottom-feeder.
-If challenged, the Loon always dives out of sight.
-The Loon needs to sink to great depths in order to survive.
-The Loon is a highly gregarious creature and only mixes with other Loons.
-The Loon naturally prefers to live in the wilderness and avoids contact with humans and human society.
It is vital that all sightings of Loons are reported to LoonWatch so that more about this strange bird can be understood by scientists before it finally cops it.
Next week on LoonWatch: Could the disappearance of jon dory be responsible for the decline of the Loon?
<hands anon a spade>as our guest, you are more than welcome to keep digging</>
The phrase "We'll keep on fighting and we'll win" sprang to mind when I read that Paul!
[hands paul a keyboard] As my cherished host, you are more than welcome to keep on fighting.
We'll keep on typing, and we'll win.
I would just like to clarify that I have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the Conspiraloon Alliance. If my opponents wish to smear the reputation of a reputable crop-circle movement by association with a group of certified fruitcakes, then they are clearly scraping the barrel of the pit.
Shit
First David and now Nick
Testing times...
[hands paul a keyboard] As my cherished host, you are more than welcome to keep on fighting.
That is uncharacteristically generous of you anon, though it might be obvious that I already have a keyboard.
Perhaps you would like to offer an example of your own efforts (beyond the anonymous, deathful denigration you offer here) that I might better mine.
No, I save those for the serious blogs.
I've heard of them, example please.
Or do you wilfully desire us to remain in the condition you so energetically deplore?
You bring to mind one of Darwin's laments:
Those who look tenderly at the slave owner, and with a cold heart at the slave, never seem to put themselves into the position of the latter;
what a cheerless prospect, with not even a hope of change!
picture to yourself the chance, ever hanging over you, of your wife and your little children — those objects which nature urges even the slave to call his own — being torn from you and sold like beasts to the first bidder!
And these deeds are done and palliated by men, who profess to love their neighbours as themselves, who believe in God, and pray that his Will be done on earth!
It makes one's blood boil, yet heart tremble, to think that we Englishmen and our American descendants, with their boastful cry of liberty, have been and are so guilty..
A profoundly poignant piece paul, but please don't insinuate that you are in some way the heirs to the abolitionist cause.. it makes me want to vomit.
I didn't insinuate, you did. My words are clearly not enough to condemn, so you just make things up.
Very poor form.
So why did I "bring to mind" an argument for the abolition of slavery in the context of an unrelated exchange in which I mocked your 'movement'?
The two invite comparison, don't they paul?
I'm Spartacus!!
Whoever is coming here calling this place an 'Organisation' and a 'Movement' needs their head looked at.
But it was a Loon who coined the term "reputable truth movement". What a short memory you loons have!
But it was a Loon who coined the term "reputable truth movement".
And?
anon, you do again with almost metronomic regularity (timesheets to punch?) miss the point.
You vaguely assert that we are miguided.
Yet you refuse to aid us
You claim allegiance to serious blogs
Yet you refuse to identify them
You desperately mimic humour
yet no one laughs
Please, explain your motivation, as you have pointed out, we are few in number.
Have you something against minorities?
It has come to our attention that your blog alleges us Jews here at Wikipedia are involved in the erasure of 'history'. We understand that Wikipedia has been ridiculed on your blog by such derogatory epithets as 'Eraserpedia' and 'Wipepedia'.
We would like to inform you that both these terms are currently awaiting page-editing and that your members are most welcome to inform users of alleged bias on the part of Wikipedia on our website.
Happy editing!
The Wikipedia team.
That's the beauty of it!
NB The Conspiraloon™ Alliance is an Equal Opportunities collective consciousness and is more than willing to entertain the thought that all sorts of people are pursuing elitist class interests on the sly; regardless of their race, colour or creed
especially the Welsh
...after decades of very detailed empirical research and a shit load of Venn diagrams, the scienticians at Conspiraloon labs have established, with a level of sciantific accuracy and reliability which even George Monbiot would be envious of, that the common denominators which all Evil Overlords share do not include race, colour, or creed
The two strongest markers appear to be...
1. They're undeservedly wealthy
2. They're cunts
...whilst we appreciate that application of less reliable markers to identify who is fucking us over can be a whole lot of fun; especially if you like broken glass and street violence, we at the Conspiraloon™ Alliance walk a different path
Paul,
One possibility that you do not appear to have considered is that Wonderboy is entering into the spirit of the blog and playing the part of the twattiest, unfunniest, lamest, on-line Loonhunter that he can come up with
if that's the case, tucos all round
he really is rather good
3. They have scaly skin.
4. They haven't watched 'V for Vendetta' five times in one day and fantasised about being the one in the mask (Antagonist).
5. They don't read this blog (ie, they're 'mainstream').
6. They are well aware that the last guy who tried removing money and turning his country into an enforced rural egalitarian utopia complete with allotments for all happened to be Pol Pot.
7. They understand that despite being undeservedly wealthy cunts, they must be doing something right if most of the world wants to come and live here (including people from New Zealand, would you believe?)
having problems with Paul's little brain teasers I see
and you still haven't quite got the hang of the honesty thing either
still, it's easier to put words in people's mouths and thoughts in their minds isn't it
you really are much happier debating with yourself aren't you
you've got me there
@Gary Numan
I admit it's a possiblity, but I generally refrain from low probability speculation.
All people of good intent could learn from Tuco's ability to take the rough with the smooth. A robust, can do approach to the travails that beset us all.
@anon
3. I assume you are referring to Strachan's 1994 paper for the BMJ.
Childhood eczema: disease of the advantaged?
Extract conclusion:
Eczema is more prevalent among British schoolchildren in social classes I and II than those in lower classes.
Though I don't think too much should be read into this.
4. Are you really that familiar with one of our charter member's entertainment activities, or just making things up again?
5. I'm sure Redwatch subscribers don't read this blog either. Is that sufficient to make them 'mainstream'?
6. I am assuming you're referring to this section in William Blum's 'Rogue State'.
President Carter's National Security Adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski, has stated that in the spring of 1979: "I encouraged the Chinese to support Pol Pot. I encouraged the Thai to help the [Khmer Rouge]. The question was how to help the Cambodian people.[sic] Pol Pot was an abomination. We could never support him. But China could."
In November 1980, Ray Cline, former Deputy Director of the CIA, visited a Khmer Rouge enclave inside Cambodia in his capacity as senior foreign-policy adviser to President-elect Ronald Reagan. A Khmer Rouge press release said that Cline "was warmly greeted by thousands of villagers." The Reagan administration was apparently preparing to continue the policy of opposition to the Vietnamese-supported Phnom Penh government.
Some of the relief organizations operating in Cambodia considered supporting the Khmer Rouge guerrillas inconsistent with their humanitarian goals, in addition to the fact that distributing aid to military personnel was impermissible for such organizations as UNICEF and the International Committee of the Red Cross. But as two American relief aid workers, Linda Mason and Roger Brown, later wrote: "Thailand, the country that hosted the relief operation, and the U.S. government, which funded the bulk of the relief operation, insisted that the Khmer Rouge be fed."
In the 1979-81 period, the World Food Program, which was strongly under US influence, gave almost $12 million in food to the Thai Army to distribute to predominantly Khmer Rouge camps by the border.
In 1982, trying to remove the smell from the Khmer Rouge, the United States put together a coalition composed of the Khmer Rouge and two "non-communist" groups also opposed to the Cambodian government, one headed by former Cambodian ruler, Prince Sihanouk.
The coalition became the recipient of much aid from the US and China, mainly funneled through Thailand. The American aid, by the late 1980s, reached $5 million officially, with the CIA providing between $20 and $24 million behind Congress's back. The aid was usually referred to as "non-lethal" or "humanitarian", but any aid freed up other money to purchase military equipment in the world's arms markets. Officially, Washington was not providing any of this aid to the Khmer Rouge, but it knew full well that Pol Pot's forces were likely to be the ultimate beneficiaries. As one US official put it: "Of course, if the coalition wins, the Khmer Rouge will eat the others alive". In any event, the CIA and the Chinese were supplying arms directly as well to the Khmer Rouge.
7. That people uproot themselves to arbitrage their sole asset,labour,due to the inhumane policies of first world institutions, is no cause for celebration.
During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.
ooops, looks like I've been pwned again
I'll just go off for a few hours, figure out what Paul really meant to say, type that out, then knock it down most masterfully to my immense personal satisfaction
maybe I'll even pretend to be Paul when writing it
ah, if only real life worked the same way
nice try with that last comment Paul
but it had to go
As it was such a nice try, I'll do it again
It's strange that I feel no need to censor your drivel, yet you must sabotage mine?
I'll just go off for a few hours, figure out what Paul really meant to say, type that out, then knock it down most masterfully to my immense personal satisfaction
What I really meant to say?
What process does that involve?
You pitifully fabricating again?
maybe I'll even pretend to be Paul when writing it
Strange thing to want to do, but I am sure readers will be able to discern the original and best.
Strange thing to want to do, but I am sure readers will be able to discern the original and best.
back at you
if I were the real anon I would have said something unfunny as fuck, or manifested some of the more unsettling traits I attribute to conspiracy losers, two or three comments back
I think the last time someone wrote something a bit unsettling and unfunny as fuck was round about here
there's no mistaking the Real McCoy
Yes Stef, I'm in a real muddle here with paul's crunching brainteasers! But if I'm the Ugly, which one are you? As the inheritors of the abolitionist cause, I presume you must be the Good. Not the best role-model though; I remember Clint was always after the money. Do you practice the quick-draw in front of the mirror? I suppose you've got to get ready for that moment of glory when the three of you ride bareback into London town, shooters drawn, paul riding shotgun at the back... I can hear the music... me being dragged along the ground behind in a noose... Ennio Morricone score grows louder... Kudos Stef walks to the front... silence/close-ups as he faces the crowd of frightened Londoners. "Which one of you fuckers has got a job? You heard me, which one of you fuckers uses money?" ...Silence/more close-ups... Paul twitches with the shotgun as a fly lands on his nose... "Who here works for the BBC and its corporatist state-aligned agenda?" ...The sheep remain silent... "Is no-one aware that a Tristar controlled domolition van was photographed near the scene of the Tavistock Square bus-bombing?" ...The Antagonist grimaces... A gallant member of the crowd steps forward... "We don't care", he shouts. "Yeah, we can think for ourselves, we're not sheep", yells another. Stef immediately opens fire, realising that his version of the Truth has been compromised by another reputable purveyor of Truth. Antagonist reaches for his suicide vest... Boom!.... Dr. Nick makes off with the cash (he always was the smartest amongst you.)
THE END
now that's what I'm talking about
fuck me, where's the nearest chinese restaurant
make that a double portion of spare ribs
my old ones are done in
THE END
as if
@gary numan
I think your thesis is looking more likely with each anonymous post
I'm happy to debate with myself Stef, but the fact that you keep replying to my posts means I can't always do that.
hey anon
you don't have a basement lined with photographs do you, you creepy fucker?
4. Are you really that familiar with one of our charter member's entertainment activities, or just making things up again?
Of course I am Paul! Check out The Antagonist's blog, he's got the masked gay one from 'V for Vendetta' as his profile pic! You stupid fuck!
Don't ever question my research paul.
That's the second time you've accused me of making things up, and the second time you've been proved wrong. Here's a reminder of the first occasion paul:
paul said...
I didn't insinuate, you did. My words are clearly not enough to condemn, so you just make things up.
Very poor form.
22 July 2009 11:53
Anonymous said...
So why did I "bring to mind" an argument for the abolition of slavery in the context of an unrelated exchange in which I mocked your 'movement'?
Still awaiting answer...
jon doy: returned to space.
Suspect Paki: needs some time to spend with the family.
The Antagonist: losing faith, about to quit.
Postman Patel: murdered by MI5.
You confuse research with speculative allegation, that of ant's frequency of viewing a certain film, 5 times in one day according to your research.
I am eager to learn about your rigorous methodology, but as you decline to directly answer a single question I ask, I remain in the ignorance you impose on us.
Also, please don't call me nasty and inappropriate names.
I was tempted to to delete that last comment from loonwatch update, but I think it is a testament to the poor taste and judgement of our pointless persecutor.
So why did I "bring to mind" an argument for the abolition of slavery in the context of an unrelated exchange in which I mocked your 'movement'?
From your words, I can conclude you have, wilfully or not, quite severely impaired cognition.
You brought to mind that quote because you demonstrate that inability to empathise or help the benighted which Darwin decried.
The context of slavery is neither here nor there and I made no comparison with our noble calling and that of the abolitionists.
You just said I did.
Your heartlessness denies us the enlightenment you so proudly claim ownership of.
Don't ever question my research paul.
Why, what will you do?
"The twattiest, unfunniest, lamest, on-line Loonhunter" -Gary Numan
"you really are much happier debating with yourself aren't you" - Kudos Stef.
"unfunny as fuck" -Cryptoanon.
"our pointless persecutor" - Paul
78 comments guys! Just keep on debating with the pointless, lame, unfunny, on-line Loonhunter and we can get this blog to 50,000 on Technorati’s ratings!
What will I do if you question my research paul? Well, I will force you to look at Ant's blog, and you wouldn't want that. You might see a profile picture of him dressed as the celluloid left's collective wet dream. By the way, the film grossed $132,000,000.
We only report the facts.
i wouldnt describe this as a debate
more a repeatedly unanswered question as to why anyone would spend so much time stalking a collection of people he repeatedly refers to as a bunch of losers
the obvious answer would be 'for pleasure'
but you don't come across as a very happy person so it doesn't appear to be working
81!
Sorry, 82!
Shit, now it says 83
What will I do if you question my research paul? Well, I will force you to look at Ant's blog, and you wouldn't want that. You might see a profile picture of him dressed as the celluloid left's collective wet dream. By the way, the film grossed $132,000,000.
No on has to force me to read ant's blog, I do so quite willingly.
If I wasn't so inclined, how exactly would you force me?
There is no picture of him dressed as anything, you are clearly seeing things or making them up, again.
If you know anyone with a doctorate, ask them if this sort of fabrication would be acceptable as research.
Why will you not use your forcing powers to show me one of your serious blogs? Then the scales might fall from my eyes and we would be great buddies!
That would be a first for you, I suspect
Hello no.85 and thanks for your input into this debate, but we've done the unhappy and embittered bit and now that you're calling me mateless I'd just like to just stop you in advance and warn you that I am also insecure, ginger, and currently locked in a closet.
I've asked Dr. Nick and he says that sort of fabrication is perfectly acceptable as research. Never trust someone just because they have a doctorate!
By the way, where did you learn to write like a crap Jane Austen?
It's cheap and unfair of me to get personal.
I fully recognise it must be really fucking shit to be you.
As Jane Austen would have no doubt put it.
This week's Looney quote of the week is a day early, but this one was so good that we had to bring it to you early:
"You brought to mind that quote because you demonstrate that inability to empathise or help the benighted which Darwin decried".
-The Gospel™ according to St. Paul. (chapter 76)
Remind you of anything? Climate Change™? The Holocaust™? You're-either-with-us-or-you're-against-us™? Truth™?
I'm afraid it only reminds me of my own comment.
I hope you can learn from Saint Paul, as he was a tireless scourge of christians before his conversion.
Perhaps one day you will be illuminated by the light of truth.
yes
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