Thursday, 25 December 2008

He Says It All

Merry Xmas to all our millions of fans

We'll keep on fighting - and we'll win!

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Sunday, 21 December 2008

Wednesday, 17 December 2008

Christmas Cabaret 2008

Book Early to Avoid Disappointment!!

Don't Book at All to Avoid Even Greater Disappointment


Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Tomorrow belongs... Tomorrow belongs... Tomorrow belongs to meeeeeeeee!!

School Children Set to Become Junior Wardens

A group of 30 pupils from an All Saints school are gearing up to become Wolverhampton’s first Junior Wardens.

The whole of year 5 from Grove Primary School, based on Caledonia Road, will participate in the scheme which is being run by the ABCD Neighbourhood Wardens in conjunction with West Midlands Police. Funding for the project has come from the West Midlands Police Community Initiatives Fund. Sergeant Glen Moseley from the All Saints Neighbourhood Policing Team secured the funding to buy uniforms and stationary for the Junior Wardens.

The aim of the scheme is to promote citizenship and to raise the young people’s awareness of their community, environment and the difference they can make. The junior wardens will undertake a series of lessons teaching them about different aspects of safety and how to be observant about what is going on around them. They will receive talks from a number of different people including West Midlands Fire Service, Police Community Support Officers and the council’s environmental team.

Senior Warden Simon Hamilton, who has organised the scheme said: “This is a great opportunity to teach some of our young people to think about what is going on the local area, how they can improve their environment and how to help prevent crime. We are extremely grateful to the police for funding this scheme and I hope that this is something that other schools can undertake in the future.”


Monday, 15 December 2008

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Another Chilling Plot ...thwarted!!

'Austrian Clown' Arrested

Austrian artist Christian Eisenberger (1978) was arrested on Monday by the Metropolitan Police on the corner of Bishopsgate and New Street in the City of London. After a brief interrogation he was released, carrying parts of his outfit in a plastic bag.

Eisenberger, who is well known in Austria for his sculptures and performances in public spaces as well as for performances in the middle of nature, was walking on Bishopsgate, wearing a clown's outfit, when a member of the public alerted the police. Most probably, the reason for this was that Eisenberger wore not only a typical clown's costume with the appropriate clown's make-up, but also carried a belt around his waist fitted with brightly coloured artificial explosives.

Eisenberger, who was visiting London for 48 hours, commented that he knew that the walk through London would fail at a certain point, but to his surprise his visits to Downing Street, Parliament Square, the new Saatchi Gallery and the Tate Modern went unchallenged. The public responded with amusement and while some members of the public raised eyebrows, none of the security guards at the various sites took action.

However his freedom as a clown ended when he was spotted by members of staff at the Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) who stood outside smoking cigarettes.

Minutes later, exactly 20 footsteps away from the police station at Bishops Gate near Liverpool Street Station, eight policemen surrounded Eisenberger, handcuffed him, and led him to the nearby police station, having relieved him of his red clown's wig and red nose. Where the same performance earlier this year in Vienna caused only amusement, it goes without saying that walking through London's financial centre in an 'explosive clowns costume" will draw not only reactions by the public, but also by the police who will react swiftly.

Perhaps in these chastened times, tragicomic figures will draw attention
and will make people stop and think. The irony of this event is that the clown 'Eisenberger' was not only being a clown but he also seemed to be a potential threat to the public. HVS December 2008


Sunday, 7 December 2008

Agent Orange


Just One More Thing To Worry About

Hot news! Just in from the department for having a laugh:

UN is told that Earth needs an asteroid shield
Scientists call for £68m a year to detect danger, and more for spacecraft to defend against it

Elsewhere: Funding for the eradication of predatory capitalism slashed

Make It Happen

Proving the predatory financial sector retains a sense of humour within its dying, twitching husk, I received this cheery note on my return from eurozone 1:

The Royal Bank of Scotland

Good Business Sense
As your Business Manager, I would like you to know that my team and I are here to support you and your business during the current econommic uncertainty. We can help you with a great deal of practical support on day to day matters like cash flow management as well as more strategic, long term advice.
I have enclosed an impartial guide from MoneySense for Business,RBS's financial capabilities initiative.Entitled 'Trading through the Economic Downturn' its aim is to help businesses understand how best to mange their finances given the current economic slowdown.
Given that my business manager will no doubt be a hair gelled,larval stage scrap of genetic landfill( squirming within a poorly cut suit his mother assured him he will grow into),whose advice will amount to peddling some worthless financial 'product', I was sorely tempted to tell them to go fuck themselves.
But then they already had*.

*After everybody else