Friday, 15 February 2008

The Blair Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatim/Legacy/Betrayal

It's very rare here at the Alliance that we get anything wrong. The great thing, however, is that we're manly enough to admit it.
Previously we have referred to our former prime minister (below) as :

to name a few. While these things are all still as true now, we welcome the chance to honour him for his fearless defence of the people of Great Britain.

When the threat was made clear, he acted decisively to avert catastrophe. So, next time you think ill of the psychopathic cunt, remember how many millions of lives he saved by his actions. The threat was real, unlike all the other times.

Dec 8 2006, London, England....The Serious Fraud Office were closing in on the web of corruption surrounding the export of death technologies to an Arab country. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. Arabs, as we know all too well, are prone to exploding, especially while trying to impose 'the caliphate' over the entire world.
However, our brave lads at the SFO had inadvertently picked on Saudi Arabia .
The then Prime minister generally loathed Arabs, and had long been trying to kill as many as he could. But these were different, well connected to the western power elite.

Once you got to know them, it was easy to accept their simple pursuit of 21st century absolutist feudal monarchy, their execution of witches and the rather 'traditional' approach to political parties, trade unions and women's voting rights.

Understand our leader's dilemma. Here he was, guardian of the nation's judicial system,his flock's spritual and moral leader. Yet also their sole protector. If he let the 'bureaucrats' prosecute, there would be blood on the streets of london. He knew this, because Prince Bandar had told him. The news filled him with dread. The story going round was that Saudi hijackers were behind that fateful day, september 11, 2001. This had naturally prompted us to invade Afghanistan and Iraq.

His empty head began to fill with with terrible possibilities. Was terrorism somehow connected with the secretive and lavishly funded networks of the international security state? Had he killed all those men, women and children for nothing,(apart from the oil stuff)? Could he, one of the most powerful cocksuckers ever to hold office, have been so terribly wrong??

Then, as he brooded over this terrible awakening, the nightmarish reverie was broken by the ring of his commecially confidential hotline. Picking up, a voice croaked the mysterious words; "£43 billion".
The effect was instantaneous!
He was no longer the Prime Minister. The shackles of justice, accountability and democracy fell, releasing him to rise above principle and once again 'do what's right'.
The trigger words from his BAE handler had wrenched him back. Back to his glamorous secret agent past.
He reverted to the cold blooded master of deception he had been when he minced about under the codename 'Miranda'!
All the training from his carefree days of snitching on CND flooded back,filling him with a righteous, uncomplicated vigour.

Agent Miranda

In a flash he knew exactly what to do.

Speed dialling the SFO, he got hold of the investigation chief. If the case wasn't dropped, he explained, people would die and BAE would drop £43 billion, jeopardising its share price! After some humming and hawing over due process, the functionary crumbled like a junior law clerk on his first date.

'Miranda' as he would now forever be, slammed down the phone. He spun his chair and looked intently, yet fondly, into the mirror.
He liked what he saw.
He realised, through working in secret, his subjects would never find out. Those grotesque lumpen clods, who dared call themselves 'the electorate', would continue wallowing in ignorance of the sacrifices he made.
A fleeting moment of bitterness clouded his mind. Would they ever show him the gratitude he deserved?
Yet he still felt proud....How many could save thousands of white people from 'unimaginable carnage™' and 43 billion quid in one day?

There'll be a bit of that coming my way, he comforted himself, when the people finally let me go........


Stef said...

Whilst on the subject of Prince Bandar and his chums may I recommend this excellent piece of 110% factually accurate infotainment

The Kingdom

= everything you need to know about Saudi Arabia and Islamofascism packed into 110 minutes of FBI knob gobbling, wog-bashing, high-octane cinema brought to you by a director/ producer with absolutely no political agenda whatsoever

I only wish I'd paid something to see it and help support their outstanding work in my own small way

Stef said...

NB Obviously the wog-bashing doesn't extend to the Saudi regime itself or its security forces - they're Good Wogs

paul said...

Yes, from the synopsis, the evil terrorists were dressed up as the saudi plod!....and they blow themselves up!....AND THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!
So cunning....

Shame about michael mann, thief was practically mainstream marxism. That and The Gambler are some of james caan's best moments

Stef said...

On second thoughts, if you're a Mann fan I suggest not watching The Kingdom

I was. I did. And I'm not any more

Stef said...

One of James Caan's other best moments

that, and Rollerball

paul said...

they're Good Wogs

Well, you just need to look deep into their wallets to see that. Truly the windows of the soul.

paul said...

He seems very at ease with his sexuality.

paul said...

I'm fairly aghast at the lack of excitement over this story, are we totally dependent on the kindness of saudis? Or would our leaders really stoop this low for a bit arms trade loot?

Stef said...

Yes and, er, Yes

That and the largesse of a diminishing band of oligarchs, plus the occasional heroin shipment, are the only things keeping this country solvent at the moment

odd lEns omeN said...

The Prime Minister,brooding over his choice of evils, was startled by his telephone ringing. Picking up, he heard a voice croak "£43 billion".

Deal or No Deal?

paul said...

In one box you've got billions of pounds and the other is full of dismembered bodies.

It's a tough call

paul said...

But at least you definitely know what's in both boxes.