Friday, 5 October 2007

Messages from the Messiah #1

The first in an occasional series of Messages™ from™ the™ Messiah™, featuring the Qabbalic wisdom of Messiah #1™ (of two), David Shayler Righteous Chav, the last living incarnate of the Jeshua Consciousness™ (except for the other one who hasn't appeared yet and Dodgy Dave's not tellin').

And on the 77th day, after 70 days of 7 hour trips in to the wilderness, The Messiah™ didst consulteth his one good all-seeing eye and report back to his disciples.

More of the messiah on Shayler TV™, the YouTube channel that beats God TV hands down. On God TV they can only profess to talk about the messiah and inspire countless unanswered prayers.
On Shayler TV, The Messiah™ talks directly to YOU.

Word in the Conspiraloon™ nuclear bunker is that God TV will be beating a hasty path to the posh country garden based teepee door of The Messiah™ and signing him up for a primetime show. Plans include a slot in which The Messiah™ will conduct daily interviews with other far more popular cartoon characters from TV, radio and newspaper-land, including Tania Head, the 9/11 survivor™ and heroine™ and President of a Survivor Group™ who turned out to be as fake as the event she was lying and faking and mooing and moaning about. Shit sells and people are buying.
Conspiraloon Tip4God TV
Now would be a good time to approach The Messiah™, it's mushroom season.

Hardened Conspiraloons™ will note that The Messiah™'s videos are cleverly labelled 911™ and 77™ in order to create the illusion that if Ex™ (ha ha!) intelligence operatives who lend their 'support' to fledgling, populist, political movements, speak out about events like 911, and then go on to pretend to be a Fucking Lunatic™ then anyone else who thinks that governments and intelligence services are a bunch of self-serving murderous fucks whose murderous intentions know no bounds must also be a Fucking Nutcase™.

Or maybe it's just a simple case of another The Father living his life vicariously through his son?


paul said...

However disturbing the image of david shayler blowing his own 'trumpet' is,remember:
"I’m not trying to blow my own trumpet but the credibility* I add to the movement is enormous"

*credibility in this case means condemned meat poured into shimmering white garb


I'm deleted Brian scenes and so is my wife said...

Heed not the Messiah - he's a secret services toy

paul said...

He mentions 'attempts on his life'.
This is important new truth and we must have answers.
Did someone slip him a poisoned pie, swap his mushrooms for 'death angels' or was it the old follow him into the tube and apply 7 bullets to the head routine?

Still, at 42, he's lasted at lot longer than his previous incarnation (an early victim of state violence).

Good to see part 2 gets a healthy 4 1/2 stars on boobtube.

Muncher said...

He mentions 'attempts on his life'.
This is important new truth and we must have answers.

In his recent interview on David Shayler mentions four car accidents and 'other things' that the intelligence services have done to him (about 3:15 into part 1).

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5

The Antagonist said...

If ever there was an advert for 'no gods, no masters', this man is it.

And I've only just started listening to part 2.

The Antagonist said...

How do you go to a demonstration 'dressed as an Anarchist'?

Anarchists will no doubt be thrilled to learn that The Messiah will shortly be implementing a dress code.

The Antagonist said...

'Spiritually activate'. That's gotta be TMable.

The Antagonist said...

This is brilliant. Two million children to sing 'Greensleeves'.

The Messiah is an inside job!

He summed it all up nicely with the words, "21st century schizoid man".

howard beale said...

I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's work, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad.

You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, Goddamnit! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell,


I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it:


paul said...

In his recent interview on David Shayler mentions four car accidents and 'other things' that the intelligence services have done to him

But he doesn't explicitly link them

Stef said...

Admittedly he's pulling off the best Col. Kurtz impression I've seen for a fair while but The New Messiah doesn't strike me as being at all well

Anonymous said...

Is Shayler himself part of the conspiracy?! He is a deep cover MI5 plant whose aim was to discredit those sceptical of our blessed leaders?
Or is he just having a fully blown copper bottomed, slap up nervous breakdown?
When I saw this on the antagonist I honestly thought it was a spoof. What next Pilger yogic flying, Tony Benn announcing imminent Dalek takeover, Chomsky accusing Bush of being a lizard from the planet Snarkfust?

Surely the second option is the more credible? He looks like shite. Bloodshot eye, bruised cheek, just stepped out of a saloon hair do...he looks how i feel this A.M.. The only messiah he's going to be associated with is ten tins of 15% Messiah Superstrength lager.

All I can say is that I hope he gets over this crack up before the last shred of credibility gets whipped into the mouth of a scaly back toad monster that are currently biding their time in their secret cells until 2008 when they will turn the human race into plants unless everyone recognises me as the seventh son of the seventh son of the third Godhead Thiathon and feeds me puréed goats' liver from silver gobletsmwahahaha.

Honestly, he's not the messiah he's just a very naughty boy.

Steve Brown

jon doy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jon doy said...

hi Steve

personally, i think the security services during profiling of their own people conduct all manner to psychobabble tests upon them, in case they are later useful in roles they might not willingly choose, but could be blackmailed or brain rearranged into doing...quite likely, mr shayler came up in his profile as a bit of an arsehead with messianic leanings, which, the planners decided made him perfect to set up as first 'whistleblower', then later, 'big mouth who bullies his way to the speaker's podium at any event where he was let in', then later still, via the manipulation of 'close friends' or 'mentors', have revealed to himself his true divinity with the subsequent 'ickedom' and ridicule that would entail - mission accomplished - the controlled demolition of the man - and all groups that couldn't stop him getting in the door...either that, or he's just a still payrolled, complicit piece of shit

...but which is he ? either way, i don't think there's any credibility to salvage