Tuesday, 6 October 2009

They Have Us On The Run

Time to scarper, shipmates:

Conspiracy theorists have used the internet to co-ordinate increasingly slick attacks on the accepted versions of events, but now a group of scientists and sceptics has decided it's time to organise and fight back.
The British Broadcasting Corporation's crack anti conspiratorial unit has found a new hero in Arran Frood, who breathlessly informs us:
While many people find them harmless fun, others believe there is a darker truth (sic)- that conspiracy theories are rewriting history, warping the present and altering the future.
Well, if we could do all that, things would be looking brighter. However, just in case we seize control of the means of fabrication from the likes of Arran and Mike, we are warned that:
Enough is enough they say - it's time to fight back.
What human forms has the god nemesis placed on this earth to rid it of our humble kind?
...scientists, writers and comedians* target conspiracy theories - and their close cousins pseudoscience** and medical quackery***
scientist, writer and comedian

What weapons has he placed in their hands?
"more rational, critical thinking"
Which, as we all know, is like purest green kryptonite to our miserable clan.

Furthermore, they intend to invade our last refuge - the internet!

They even, strangely, have a "high priest", one James Randi, a famous entertainer who we are told:
"offered $1,000 to anyone who could prove the paranormal was real. Donations swelled the booty to more than a million dollars, but no applicants have passed the preliminary test."
Though they didn't mention that the preliminary test seems to be getting Randi to agree to it, as Rupert Sheldrake (not a magician, only a scientist) recently found out.

Fighting conspiracy theories seems to take a heavy toll on these warrior rationalist fellows. The 'sceptics' (who actually seem to believe everything they're told) complain terribly about 'isolation', 'abuse and ridicule'.
scientist, writer and magician
But plucky types like Dr Phil aren't going to be put off as easily as that:
Dr Phil Plait cites the myth that an egg laid on the first day of spring will stand on one end. Plait says that 10 years ago half of his audience had heard of the story - now that figure is less than 10%, which he says is down to using the web to disseminate articles that prove the claim is nonsense. "Legends do die," he says.
I'll sleep well tonight, knowing that's been cleared up.

So, if you're having trouble believing all the fucking shit you're told, just pony up £175 to the magician, and all your worries will disappear.

Original bullshit here

* It may be hard to tell them apart
** Must be that Global Warming Climate Change they're always on about
*** Have you volunteered your child yet?


Anonymous said...

Adam Savage, presenter of the television programme Mythbusters, which uses science to challenge urban legends: "They want to believe desperately that someone is in charge," he says. "Even if it is someone who is working against us."

Ah, so nobody is in charge of anything at all. I feel better already.

Thanks Auntie Bibi!

paul said...

And there I was, thinking there was someone in charge.
Now what am I going to do with all these eggs?

Watch the Byrdie said...

paint the eggs,put them in a basket and send them to Randi.I'm sure he's got his own easter bunny suit.Kids love the easter bunny,don't they Jimbo? eh? nudge nudge wink wink.

Cool Hand Luke said...

Paintin' dem eggs, boss, paintin' dem eggs.

Tom said...

Could Randi's crusade against the humble egg be related to the curious phenomenon of a cracked egg forming a white "beard", if you will, in the pan of water? Resulting in the said egg resembling his own cranium.

12 ¶ Then the word of the Lord came unto Jeremiah the prophet, after that Hananiah the prophet had broken the yolk from off the neck of the prophet Jeremiah, saying,
13 Go and tell Hananiah, saying, Thus saith the Lord; Thou hast broken the yolks of wood; but thou shalt make for them yolks of iron.

paul said...

Re: Bunnies and important people

Vronsky said...

Sorry I don't have a source for this, but Randi recently closed his $1M challenge on the advice (would you believe) of Richard Dawkins. Dawkins told him that to expect continued success with the project was unwise as he was assuming that he would never meet a conjuror cleverer than himself, and this could not be guaranteed. He also added that in his view, while the paranormal might be a fiction, there was what he called a 'perinormal', and some exotic or little-understood natural phenomenon would catch him out sooner or later.

Some time ago I read a claim by Uri Geller that he had won a lawsuit against Randi for defamatatory allegations of fraud. Idly, I emailed Randi and asked if this was true. I received a reply not only from Randi, but a rather firm note from his lawyers, demanding to know the source of my information. It turns out (I think) that the truth is somewhere in the middle, whereby a deal was done and Geller abandoned the suit.

paul said...

If Dawkins can't rely on science, whither his project?

..and then there's the false memory foundation

gyg3s said...

Well I for one applaud this initiative!

What's more I made a comment to that effect on their website which you'll all be able to read when they get around to publishing it (the delay must be because they get so many crank emails that they haven't had time to read mine, yet).

Until they get the comment and it is published, I think I ought to explain what I said in my comment, so that you can see the error of your ways.

Simply, I said that a 'conspiracy theory' busting team is an excellent idea. If it had been around earlier it would have easily debunked the massive conspiracy theory that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. Single handedly, the conspiracy theory busting debunking team could have saved hundreds of thousands of lives and prevented the wealth transfer from the US taxpayer to the arms industry.

It's for ideas and initiatives that I, for one, pay my license fee.

Ignore your detractors BBC. Keep up the good work!!!!

Keep on fighting and together, with our questioning (yes, so long as they are the right questions); our questioning support and licence fee: you will win!

Anonymous said...

/ Applaud's gyg3s ninja Ju Jitsu arguing technique.

paul said...

I too applaud it, but the bbc have yet to publish it.