Thursday, 5 June 2008

Conspiraloon Alliance gains nuclear capabilities

One Loonar year old and the Conspiraloon Alliance™ are pleased, proud and chuffed as chuffed things could be, to welcome in to the Alliance fold the ultimate in Holocaust denying Conspiranoid mentallists.

At his Conspiraloon Alliance™ initiation ceremony featuring arcane and ever-so-slightly occult procedures, all performed wearing aprons with silly logos, slippers, nooses, hoodwinks and a large floor fashioned in the chessboard style, our newest member and nuclear threat to the whole wide world proclaimed his views on what the highbrow and terribly clever broadsheet journalists all refer to as "getting fucked™ at the petrol pump".
"While the growth of consumption is lower than that of production and the market is full of oil, prices continue to rise and this situation is completely manipulated...

...hidden and unhidden hands are at work to control the prices mendaciously to pursue their political and economic aims."

Welcome to the Conspiraloon Alliance,

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad!!!!

oiled paid up
members of the
Conspiraloon Alliance, Mahmoud
and Hugo at the Alliance Inititation Ceremony
(A.I.C.). Both hats appear slightly raised from the
initiates' heads. This is due to the A.I.C. tradition of wearing a small
skull from a deceased male member of the Bush Klan. The wearing of the
skull above the human head and below the hat is used to symbolise how
the capacity of humans is far greater
than that of the shape-shifting
space aliens that came
from Mars a long time
ago and created
humans from

David Irving was said to be "very pleased". Baroness Seething Nazi was even more pleased still.

At the end of the evening, Ahmadinejad received his first disciplinary warning from the Conspiraloon Counsel of Perfection after he uttered:

"[the goal of] powerful and international capitalists [is to keep the price of oil and energy] artificially high"

Following several hours waterboarding, water-skiing and paragliding at the Conspiraloon International Alliance HQ Marina, Mahmoud recanted, saying: "When I said international capitalists, I didn't mean to introduce any politics into Conspiraloonery. What I really meant is the shapeshifting, blood-drinking lizards from Mars and The Jews."


Stef said...

I like the way Mahmoud and Hugo are demonstrating the key difference between hidden and unhidden hands in that picture

Stef said...

though I love the hats too, obviously

Stef said...

and, of course, we should feel some sympathy for all those AntiLoons who still labour under the impression that the invasion of Iraq was all about securing cheap oil in what must be for them a very confusing time

Stef said...

and whilst on the subject of Hidden Hands, Eraserpedia has apparently decided that they don't exist

Stef said...

....presumably the keepers of WikiTruth™ had to delete the Hidden Hand article to make some space for important information such as their 14,000 word entry on Optimus Prime

The Antagonist said...

The hats are good aren't they?

You will no doubt have noted that Mahmoud opted for a special Darth Vader style ConspiraCap while Hugo preferred the standard working men's hard hat. It helps him retain the common touch and makes people feel better about being poor and deprived under socialism.

Stef said...

You will no doubt have noted that Mahmoud opted for a special Darth Vader style ConspiraCap

which seems more than appropriate given recent rumours that Iran is commissioning its own Death Star

Stef said...

...and it's going to be miles scarier than that flattish one they're building next door in Azerbaijan