Wednesday, 12 March 2008

genghis6199 is unhappy aka The No Plane Theorists Theory...



jon doy said...

confused ? you should be:

only people who give you their addresses are real

never give anyone your address

don't interact on forums

interact on forums

people who spend a long time talking to you are real

my girlfriend is real because i've seen her home

i fell in love with a fat agent

it was missile attacks, and if it was missile attacks then these fuckers aren't messing about
[whereas if the tt's were hit with planes all is well ?]


spooks won't try to overpower you they will come and try to be nice to you

spooks will threaten you or your family and say 'we'll kill you or you can work for us'

the tt's were struck by, and then demolished with, mini nukes and if you think otherwise you're an idiot

...but, in all the two-points-of-view-at-the-same-time confusion he does make some good points, except for the one about making a film and having a kid because there's not long to do so before the end of the world

in summary, don't trust anyone who wants you to commit absolutely to adhering to either 'planes' or 'no planes', including this guy

happy film making dude, is your intention for the aliens who come down to see this dead world post 2012 to give you three thumbs up for your directing ?

Stef said...

he is, however, a fucking excellent film-maker

jon doy said...

i think i know what's really going on: what's really going on is that the spooks have appropriated computer dating programmes, and are using them - with truther's data they've mined - to match up all truthers with the partner of their dreams, this is because they need to immobilise all truthers in time for 2012 when they will kill everyone...if all truthers haven't been matched up with a lover in time for 2012, then the armageddon will be slightly less evil, as single people in their bedsits/bedrooms/waiting for mum to cook tea being killed wouldn't be quite so satanic

or whatever

jon doy said...

DO NOTHING™ is your only sensible option

INACT NOW™ before it's too late

only IMMEDIATE APATHY® will make anything better

except maybe some porn and making babies

i'm so glad that all these people are so sure the end of the world is only a few years away, because that's really helpful to the cause of getting people to actually DO NOTHING™ about the state of things, or at the very least getting people to debate endlessly about nukes versus directed energy weapons, which is as good as DO NOTHING™

in fact, it's even better

Tom said...

In the last 6 months he's spent 8 grand on Truth.

btw are any of you real?

beware of the parps

and too much coffee.

Daffyd Chayler said...

I'm real.

Daffyd Chayler said...

Now, give me your name and address, and what you look for in a woman, please.

Tom said...

She's got to have been thoroughly vetted, and have good heckles.

jon doy said...

I'm so real there's two of me

jon doy said...

^ imposter

i didn't write that, and there's only one of me

tom said...

me two

jon doy said...

jon doy 1, jon doy 2, you're both imposters


jon doy said...

^ imposter

i didn't write that, and there's only one of me

yeah, says who?

jon doy said...

i'm leaving all these jons to it, as i now doubt that i am indeed the real jon dory, i mean jon doy, and am going to go and try to find out who i really am

webfairy said...

I'm a real fairy

webfairy said...


Can I please see some video of your home?

Can I be your girlfriend?

I'm not psychotic or anything!

KILLTOWN said...

Can we stop this flirting and get on with the Directed Energy Weapons and porn now, pleeze?

Jon Ronson said...

There's two jon jon jon, there's two jon jon.

jon doy said...

jon, been meaning to ask you, one craply spelled name to another: when you went to bohemian grove with alex jones, were you also out in the forest servicing vip nobs, or did you just fiddle in the undergrowth by yourself while aj did all the pumping for info ?

love the socks btw, very comedic

jon ronson said...

Alex was keen to whip his bullhorn out and cry "heathens!" a lot, but I managed to talk him down and ply him with camomile tea. I thought I saw Martyn Lewis up a tree, but Alex grabbed me and hid me in some rough scrub.

He had brought his own little wax owl to burn, "for warmth" and it gave off a funny smell. I awakened in the daylight none the wiser.

jon doy said...


i have to confess to some confusion over your attitude to 'Conspiracy Theorists', now, we all know that the only people who believe in conspiracies are those who live in the tiny squalor of bedsits, usually with pyramidal piles of excreta wrapped in newspaper and tied up with string, vulnerable, mentally unstable types, the sort of people who think that operation gladio wasn't benevolent in its blowing up of innocent people by reich wingers funded by the cia, the sorts of people crazy enough to think that actual proven conspiracy facts aren't simply deranged theories

phew, what nutters, et cetera, but you've witnessed one of these conspiracy theories yourself, it theoretically existed before your very eyes, unreal though it obviously was, and yet you seem a little down on other conspiracy theorists who are also aware of other conspiracies, as though all conspiracies - without exception - are as fantasy in their reality as the one you didn't witness because it wasn't real - you not being a conspiracy theorist and all

can you explain ?

Jon Ronson said...

I seek out the wacky and oddball in others to compensate for my own dull, monotonous Guardian-corresponding life.

It wouldn't matter what the conspiracy was, I'd only be interested in using it to get my mug back on the telly again.

I've just read this amazing book by John Humphreys that makes me want to go out and kidnap a bishop. Today someone pushed a blow-up goat through my letterbox, then inflated it with a greenhouse gas.

jon doy said...

i see

i like the way you worked in a mention of your master work The Men Who Blow Goats, which i haven't read