Saturday, 10 October 2009

Stopping at Nothing


The famously anti modernist al queda entity has seemingly placed one of it's crack fundamentalist operatives at the heart of western science!


"The suspect was one of 7,000 working on the Cern project on the Swiss-French border to build a Large Hadron Collider, with the aim of simulating some of the conditions of the Big Bang in an attempt to answer questions about the origins of the universe. "

"Since its official opening last year, the 17-mile circular underground tunnel has mostly been closed for repairs."
As destroying everything might forestall the global caliphate, we must wonder whether the planners have succumbed to an even more serious state of non western madness.

Given that the large, non functional project holds the possibility of destroying the universe this story should be taken very seriously.

Friday, 9 October 2009

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

They Have Us On The Run

Time to scarper, shipmates:

Conspiracy theorists have used the internet to co-ordinate increasingly slick attacks on the accepted versions of events, but now a group of scientists and sceptics has decided it's time to organise and fight back.
The British Broadcasting Corporation's crack anti conspiratorial unit has found a new hero in Arran Frood, who breathlessly informs us:
While many people find them harmless fun, others believe there is a darker truth (sic)- that conspiracy theories are rewriting history, warping the present and altering the future.
Well, if we could do all that, things would be looking brighter. However, just in case we seize control of the means of fabrication from the likes of Arran and Mike, we are warned that:
Enough is enough they say - it's time to fight back.
What human forms has the god nemesis placed on this earth to rid it of our humble kind?
...scientists, writers and comedians* target conspiracy theories - and their close cousins pseudoscience** and medical quackery***
scientist, writer and comedian

What weapons has he placed in their hands?
"more rational, critical thinking"
Which, as we all know, is like purest green kryptonite to our miserable clan.

Furthermore, they intend to invade our last refuge - the internet!

They even, strangely, have a "high priest", one James Randi, a famous entertainer who we are told:
"offered $1,000 to anyone who could prove the paranormal was real. Donations swelled the booty to more than a million dollars, but no applicants have passed the preliminary test."
Though they didn't mention that the preliminary test seems to be getting Randi to agree to it, as Rupert Sheldrake (not a magician, only a scientist) recently found out.

Fighting conspiracy theories seems to take a heavy toll on these warrior rationalist fellows. The 'sceptics' (who actually seem to believe everything they're told) complain terribly about 'isolation', 'abuse and ridicule'.
scientist, writer and magician
But plucky types like Dr Phil aren't going to be put off as easily as that:
Dr Phil Plait cites the myth that an egg laid on the first day of spring will stand on one end. Plait says that 10 years ago half of his audience had heard of the story - now that figure is less than 10%, which he says is down to using the web to disseminate articles that prove the claim is nonsense. "Legends do die," he says.
I'll sleep well tonight, knowing that's been cleared up.

So, if you're having trouble believing all the fucking shit you're told, just pony up £175 to the magician, and all your worries will disappear.

Original bullshit here

* It may be hard to tell them apart
** Must be that Global Warming Climate Change they're always on about
*** Have you volunteered your child yet?

Sunday, 2 August 2009

Watching Over Us

While having little knowledge of the esoteric, it's hard to escape the overwhelming creepiness of our United Kingdom Supreme Court.
Even I can discern a big friendly owl's head top right and the eye of providence at its heart. Though it may be the camera angle...

....but probably not.
The Court symbol is built around Omega, finality, the end.

But the end of what?

Does the ascendancy of the english rose over the wilting leek and thistle mean anything? Or are they just bound to each other forever? Certainly some see the court as a challenge to Scots law, even in its debased post Dunblane and Lockerbie form.

I fully understand the need for a supreme court. The United States have one and therefore so should we. (Though it does have heavily caveated written constitution as a perspective frame). However, as a creature of the serially useless Lord Falconer, a certain doubt over the true purpose and implications should be entertained.

I eagerly await the excellent attentions of the Vigilant Citizen on the formal aspects of this fascinating gothic revival phoenix.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Open to Interpretation

Cars and girls - or is Jeremy speaking in deadly code?

A fascinating insight into the terror busting tactics of our military intelligence community. The Telegraph reports on the typically vindictive extradition proceedings of some students:

A Muslim terrorist suspect sent coded emails to an al-Qaeda commander in which references to his impending marriage were in fact details of a planned bomb attack in Britain, MI5 has claimed!

The people involved were the suspects in the 'Easter Bomb' plot. This plot was perhaps hastily named, as there were no bombs, nothing happened at Easter and no charges were brought.
Some have speculated it might even have been a distraction from rather bad publicity elsewhere.
MI5 believed that girls’ names were used to refer to chemicals and that talk of a “wedding” was actually a reference to the bombing itself. In one of the messages, allegedly sent to an al-Qaeda commander in Pakistan, the student, alleged to have been the leader of the cell, wrote that he planned to get married in 12 to 17 days. That caused alarm among the security services who feared an attack was imminent.....
....police had traced a young woman who confirmed they were in a relationship and considering marriage.

The men were all denied bail yesterday pending a full hearing in March or April next year.

Perhaps the strain of monitoring the thousands of suspects our security services allege is beginning to tell.

If you can convince yourself that someone who talks about a wedding, when actually in a relationship, is plotting a suicide bomb attack but has no actual plan or explosives, you should maybe take a little time off.

People outside the security services who claim to see plots everywhere tend to get very short shrift these days.

Winter Patriot's handy compilation of the rather quiet reporting on this non plot is available here.

aangirfan shows us The Telegraph's online translation service. As they used to say on saturday afternoons, here are the results:
I saw a slight glimpse of Chemical (possibly h2o2) day before yesterday but Chemical (possibly h2o2) was of insufficient chemical strength.

Chemical (possibly h2o2) is more gorgeous than Chemical (possibly h2o2) at the moment and Chemical (possibly h2o2) is of sufficient chemical strength….Chemical (possibly h2o2) is of sufficient chemical strength Chemical (possibly h2o2) and it wont take long to attack.

Hmm tell me that how is ur sweety Chemical (possibly h2o2) I miss Chemical (possibly h2o2) a lot

About my Chemical (possibly h2o2). As I told you about Chemical (possibly h2o2)’s affair. Chemical (possibly h2o2) is still waiting for my response. Chemical (possibly h2o2) is of sufficient chemical strength and Chemical (possibly h2o2) is of insufficient chemical strength. You know Chemical (possibly h2o2) and Chemical (possibly h2o2). WOW man. I would love to get them in my friends list but you know I have been thinking about chemical strength. Chemical (possibly h2o2) sounds ok but Chemical (possibly h2o2) is found [sic] of money. Chemical (possibly h2o2) is some times of insufficient chemical strength. Chemical (possibly h2o2) of insufficient chemical strength.

I am still keeping my possible car bomb because most of the jobs they ask for it and other reason is you know Chemical (possibly h2o2)s mostly like guys with possible car bomb.

hmmmm so u have a lot of Chemical (possibly h2o2) friendsss me also like Chemical (possibly h2o2)sssss pay my salam [greetings] for ur Chemical (possibly h2o2)s friend ok

when ever u will attack soo plz first see ur Chemical (possibly h2o2) friend how is Chemical (possibly h2o2)…is Chemical (possibly h2o2) of sufficient chemical strength [because] we attack in life on [only] one time

You know what Chemical (possibly h2o2)s are like. I am bore of being bachelor now LOL [laughs out loud] so I would try to make it happen in the near future. I will be careful about my choice because your whole family life depends upon the decision.

I met with Chemical (possibly h2o2) family and we both parties have agreed to conduct the nikah [attack] after 15th and before 20th of this month.

I am delighted that they have strong family values and we will have many guests attending the attack. Anyways I wished you could be here as well to enjoy the attack.
If that's not a clear cut example of a detailed plan of impending and unimaginable carnage then I, as Richard Dawkins might say, am a monkey's uncle.

Friday, 24 July 2009

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Thursday, 2 July 2009

Strum-along-a-Kollerstrom

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Another Conspiraloon Alliance exclusive original!!*


New!!! on Betamax, from Poolside Entertainments:

Strum-along-a-Kollerstrom



Finally! Now in full techni-Koller! Featuring all your favourites including:

Selections from Fiddler on the (T)roof - was there really a roof at all? The evidence suggests otherwise

De Nile Song by Pink Floyd

Luton to London train timetable, set to music by the much-loved composer Public Domain

Circle of Crops (Caught in the Middle) by Sister Sledge

The Chike Song (Match My Sum)

And many, many more, all with on-screen banjo tablature.


Order now and get a free bonus DVD:

Source for the Goose:
As endorsed by some wrestler from Bollock, Texas!!!


Remember, Strum-along-a-Kollerstrom is NOT available in ANY shops! Hurry to ensure disappointment!!


(* = NB Strum-along-a-Kollerstrom was not actually originally created by the Conspiraloon Alliance
but we did go to the effort of cutting and pasting it from the Internet, fucking around with it a bit and then putting our name to it, without the original author's permission - which is just as good as actually coming up with it ourselves in anyone's book, especially Dr Nick's)
.

Monday, 29 June 2009

Let's play 7/7 Conspiracy Files Bullshit Bingo!!


courtesy of The Antagonist


edit: and the scores on the doors are...



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Saturday, 27 June 2009

The AntiLoon Manual: Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation

Fifteen more easily identifiable characteristics than a conspiracy theorist:

From the Resonant Resurrections Dept: This wise little version of "Cover-ups for Dummies" has been floating on the Net since the late '90s at least. Given the government/media handling of 9/11, the resulting wars, and recent electoral fraud it often seems our top officials must read it everyday. If we're to bring the truth alive in 2005, it may help to occasionally remind ourselves how the pros play the game. - Editor

Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.

1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.

2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the "How dare you!" gambit.

3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such "arguable rumors". If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a "wild rumor" which can have no basis in fact.

4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.

5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary attack the messenger ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as "kooks", "right-wing", "liberal", "left-wing", "terrorists", "conspiracy buffs", "radicals", "militia", "racists", "religious fanatics", "sexual deviates", and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.

6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.

7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could so taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.

8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough "jargon" and "minutiae" to illustrate you are "one who knows", and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.

9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues with denial they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.

10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with. Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually them be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.

11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the "high road" and "confess" with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, "just isn't so." Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later. Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for "coming clean" and "owning up" to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.

12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to loose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.

13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards with an apparent deductive logic in a way that forbears any actual material fact.

14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best for items qualifying for rule 10.

15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.

16. Vanishing evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.

17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can "argue" with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.

18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how "sensitive they are to criticism".

19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the "play dumb" rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon). In order to completely avoid discussing issues may require you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.

20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.

21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed an unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict (usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim) is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed.

22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.

23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.

24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by proper intimidation with blackmail or other threats.

25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Shit yourself!!!

Forget Chicken Licken and the sky that was falling in; that wasn't, now something to really make you shit your pants!

Forget global warming and forget global cooling (both now congealed into the all inclusive catch-all "climate change" because nobody really knows what the fuck is going on and the pay for liars is very good indeed).

Scienticians have announced that The Earth is to be royally fucked up good and proper by the God of War and / or Goddess of Love in the shape(s) of (a) big planet thing(s) in the VERY NEAR FUTURE!***

What a collision between Earth and Venus might look like.
Look at the poor ants.
(Artist now working on mock-up of what the earth might
look
like if it became part of the contents of a giant tube of
fluoride filled toothpaste, something which also *could* happen.)

Sources tonight advised that the potential variations in planetary orbits of Mars and Venus are probably due to the combined efforts of marrow-chilling, spine-curdling Osama bin Laden, alien lizards and the government, the holy trinity of triumviracy who, as everyone knows, are the THREE MAJOR POWERS in the whole of modern society in the whole of the world, and beyond. At least since Elvis died.

The font of all knowledge, the one true messiah of all the millions and millions who also think they're messiahs, David Shayler claims that junk science has now proved the universe is shape-changing and that the process is well underway and on course for something spectacular just before his birthday in 2012.

The Conspiraloon Alliance remain confident of our abilities to halt the dastardly march of the ruling alien classes, but have determined that stopping Venus and Mars in their tracks might prove a challenge too far for the junior chemistry set, even with the recent additions of black pepper, chapati flour and powdered masala spice.

Here's the public information film from the BBC. Watch closely as they present a story that isn't entirely stupid and pointless to an audience that it presumes is very clever indeed and all of above average intelligence. Definitely worth 142.50****** of anyone's money, even if it wasn't demanded with menaces.



*** Don't forget to carefully check the sell-by / use-by / consume-by date on those tins of beans when you stock up, JUST 3.3 BILLION YEARS TO GO until the day all the fucking planets go bang.
***** Italian Lira.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Monday, 13 April 2009

Muad'dib Update!!

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"Gardai probe mail sent to extradition judges in J.A.H. Case
Dearbhail McDonald
Irish Independent
Sat, 11 Apr 2009 08:35 UTC

Gardai are investigating a series of packages sent to two Irish judges who have dealt with the case of an Englishman fighting extradition to Britain for posting DVDs to a British judge and jury.


The DVD, entitled '7/7 Ripple Effect' claims the 7/7 bombings in London were "an inside job".

High Court judge Mr Justice Michael Peart alerted the authorities after he received seven packages since March 19 last, some of which contained a DVD indicating that they related to the case of Sheffield born Anthony John Hill.

Mr Hill (60) is wanted to stand trial in the United Kingdom for perverting the course of public justice during a criminal trial relating to the 2005 attacks which killed 52 commuters, four suicide bombers and injured 700 others. If convicted Mr Hill, who claims he is the leader of a church known as The Way, faces up to life in prison.

The packages, which were unopened by Judge Peart, were posted from Finland, the US and Qatar. Another judge, who also dealt with Mr Hill's case following his arrest in Ireland on February 10, also received similar material by post.

Judge Peart, who last week ruled that Mr Hill should be extradited to Britain, said in his judgment that he wanted to express his disapproval of the actions of those who sought to send him material in the strongest possible terms and said it was "clearly an attempt" to influence his decision.

Extradition

Mr Hill is currently in custody in an Irish prison and may appeal his extradition.

The DVDs, copies of which were also sent to five relatives of the victims, were intercepted by officials at Kingston Crown Court during the trial last year of people involved of assisting the 2005 bombings.

The film, widely available on the internet, blames the UK government and security services for the explosions in central London on July 7 2005. The filmmakers say the 7/7 bombers were innocent individuals who were duped into participating in what they thought was a training exercise.

The British authorities claim Mr Hill's fingerprints were found on packages sent from Ireland to the London-based judge and jury foreman in May and June 2008.

When arrested by gardai Mr Hill had €100,000 worth of gold bullion in krugerrand coins, the South African currency.



Mr Hill's lawyers, at an earlier hearing, requested that Judge Peart view the DVD, but the judge chose not to.
"

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Friday, 27 March 2009

Sunday, 15 March 2009

The New Enclosure


In a groundbreaking, paradigm smashing collaboration with the Berlin Tourist Authority, The Alliance is proud to bring you a handy, multi-lingual guide the global crunchtastrophe.

Please download and read carefully if you wish a true understanding of the complex world of financial domination.

It really is that simple.

The only difference the Alliance would have with our more optimistic deutsche Verschwörungtheoretikerbrüder und schwestern is that there is no easy way to avoid this process.

For those who prefer a less metaphorical guide to worldly affairs, Michel Chussodovsky lays out the plan in all its devilish simplicity. Donald Hunt and Simon Davies do an excellent job of identifying the work in progress, and David Harvey points out that while credit is scarce, wealth is at a loss with what do with it's surplus, other than take over the entire world.

In short, the controlled debtonation of the global economy has begun, and we must prepare for a slight change of circumstances. This will involve sharing the benefits of a low impact lifestyle, as found in the third world, amongst all capital's livestock.

As we are constantly told, la crisis, as they refer to it in spain, will require sacrifice. Though people may well be surprised on discovering it is human sacrifice that is demanded.

The Banker Constrictor - proof that serpents do not eat their own tail

If the whole thing was not so gruesome and tragic, you could almost admire its dreadful symmetry. Our widely televised in-house poet laureate captures these mixed feelings perfectly:

If you can keep your capital and property,
When all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
Yours is the Earth and everything in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a fascist my son.


Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Here We Go Again

A big problem with the many thousands of terrorfascists is that they all look alike to our innocent western eyes. For example, cast your gaze over these lads.

Do they perhaps remind you of these lads?

That's because they are,unbelievably, the same.

Even though The Department of Terror claims thousands of deadly plotters, it seems to prefer trying the mentally impaired, the mentally impaired and this bunch, who seem pretty mentally impaired.

This has not, however triggered a class memory amongst the news hounds of the hated mainstream media. It's not yesterday's news to them.

Not a single report mentioned the failure to convict them over the airline bomb plot last year.
It's highly probable they are experiencing a temporal dislocation similar to that popularised by the revisionist police drama; 'Life on Mars', and they are all reporting from the past.

It would be understandable as the shocking, chilling details are eerily alike.

Mr Wright, prosecutor, spouting rubbish about what might have happened if everything had been completely different, the same eviltronic memory sticks and the fucking juice bottles of death.
Is this then, or is it now?

It's true what they say, there are too many repeats on these days. This edition must contain some hilarious behind the scenes out-takes, as it's set for a mammoth ten month run, compared with the lean six of the first trial. Who knows, might we see a surprise guest appearance from the allegedly dead alleged mastermind Rashid Rauf?

Still, if you'd spent £37 million sterling (back in the days when a pound was a pound) you'd want another go I suppose.

Update: For legal reasons the latest jury has been discharged, poor old Mr Wright will have to do his Vincent Price act all over again.

That'll cost a few bob.

More over at aangirfan.

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Shitna


A classic example of pseudo martyrdom stunt cockery.

Gert is outspoken
Gert is charismatic
Gert says what elites really think
Gert says what wants to be heard
Gerts life is in danger
but Gerty is crafty and refuses to take life seriously

If you do not want to know anything, you have come to the very right place.

Our administration deplores open hatred,but appreciates its managed, milked appeal.

A thoughtful, stunned bystander might wonder what we can learn from an acolyte of the demented monster bolkenstein . A man whose only dream was to drag the untermenschen to an east european state of dejection.

Of course, with the contingent mind of the psychopath, he applies only his concerns to the damage done by the darkies, and casts his gaze away from the glut of whitish European labour capital he imagines queuing to wipe his illuminated and rotting arsehole.

As a fellow human socialised within roman catholicism, I can appreciate gerty's discomfort with an entirely alien culture. However, I am unhappy to witness his witless abjection to the most gruesome fundamentalist states in his imaginary battle for our future.

The home secretary should recognise that it takes far more than a single, wild haired fascist to get the jackboots on the march. A concerted, persistent pan-media programme of demonisation is required, and that has been operating for years.

As an enthusiast for free speech, I cannot but support gerty's anti-human ravings, as a little,purely natural, sunshine will reveal him to be of the same, dessicated sociopathic cast as our own demented melanie philips. The hag philips, of course, has openly said much the same as the dutch lightning rod, as has that epitome of the ugly drunk, nicholas cohen and his sly,creepy, zionist big brother, david.

Gerty's the real thing. Agressive, charismatic and life hating.

I think he should be heard.

Let's see the real thing.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Foundation Frenzy: The Chinchillian Foundation

A Special Conspiraloon Special Exclusive Special Extra, courtesy of Conspiraloon guest writer, jtf.

The Chinchillian Foundation was set up last year with the aim of steering youngsters away from being rabbitalised. The Foundation is named after 18th century rogue and pamphleteer Maximillian Chinchillian, who travelled the length and breadth of the Midlands preaching guerrilla resistance against the British.

It aims to steer easily-led youths towards a path of non-confrontational passive dialogue leading to a wider consensus between communities and an overall cohesive pudding of social inclusion, keeping our democracy vibrant well into the new age. This is costing £4 billion over 2 years, before the Foundation is wound up and the principal players move to Majorca.

Hassan Butt was an impressionable young critter

Hassan Butt, who claimed to have been a rabbit all the way from 1998 to 2002, told how he was met at the gates of a prestigious university by a large rabbit all whiskery. He was taken to a community centre where images of conflict were projected onto a giant carrot. By the time he came away an hour later he was sporting a prodigious beard, and determined to rabbitalise all his friends and known associates.

Butt pictured in his student days after 'rabbitalisation'

Butt was interviewed in several highly regarded media outlets, relating how he had met many lethal rabbits, trained 400 chinchillas in the arts of war, and finally renounced rabbitalism to keep a low profile with his face in the daily press.

Questions are now being raised over the veracity of Mr. Butt's adventures

However, the police have now announced that Mr. Butt was 'almost certainly' not a rabbit all along. A spokesperson for the Chinchillian foundation said "That's OK, we've got a dozen more like him in a cupboard somewhere. This does not affect our funding in any way."

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Herring-Served Red

The hated mainstream media rises up to condemn the greedy bankers:
Darling orders urgent inquiry to report something or other at a later date

Public owned bank returns to normal behaviour
Strange, as this dreadful situation would seem to be one of the simpler, and certainly financially irrelevant ,aspects of the crunchtastrophe to deal with.

They have long taunted us with threats to go to an unidentified elsewhere. Perhaps the time has come for us to let them go?

But, as the aristocrat of alternative news pointedly enquires, the real question is: where's the rest of the fucking money gone?

Friday, 6 February 2009

Nuts Can Be Harmful

Example given: a limp salad of mixed platitudes, sprinkled with croutons of pseudo-erudtion, smothered in a greasy, tasteless dressing; one part self aggrandisement to five parts self pity.
The mind behind the words may deny analysis, but the words reveal all.
Our Middle East envoy,finance flunkey and worthless panderer to power speaks:

It is an honour to be here. A particular honour to be with you Mr. President. The world participated in the celebration of your election. Now the hard work begins. And now, also we should be as steadfast for you in the hard work as in the celebration. You don’t need cheerleaders but partners; not spectators but supporters. The truest friends are those still around when the going is toughest. We offer you our friendship today. We will work with you to make your Presidency one that shapes our destiny to the credit of America and of the world. Mr President, we salute you and wish you well.

After 10 years as British Prime Minister, I decided to choose something easy. I became involved in the Middle East Peace Process.

There are many frustrations – that is evident. There is also one blessing. I spend much of my time in the Holy Land and in the Holy City. The other evening I climbed to the top of Notre Dame in Jerusalem. You look left and see the Garden of Gethsemane. You look right and see where the Last Supper was held. Straight ahead lies Golgotha. In the distance is where King David was crowned and still further where Abraham was laid to rest. And of course in the centre of Jerusalem is the Al Aqsa Mosque, where according to the Qur’an, the Prophet was transported to commune with the prophets of the past.

Rich in conflict, it is also sublime in history. The other month in Jericho, I visited the Mount of Temptation. I think they bring all the political leaders there. My guide – a Palestinian – was bemoaning the travails of his nation. Suddenly he stopped, looked heaven wards and said “Moses, Jesus, Mohammed: why did they all have to come here?”

It is a good place to reflect on religion: a source of so much inspiration; an excuse for so much evil.

Today, religion is under attack from without and from within. From within, it is corroded by extremists who use their faith as a means of excluding the other. I am what I am in opposition to you. If you do not believe as I believe, you are a lesser human being.

From without, religious faith is assailed by an increasingly aggressive secularism, which derides faith as contrary to reason and defines faith by conflict. Thus do the extreme believers and the aggressive non-believers come together in unholy alliance.

And yet, faith will not be so easily cast. For billions of people, faith motivates, galvanises, compels and inspires, not to exclude but to embrace; not to provoke conflict but to try to do good. This is faith in action. You can see it in countless local communities where those from churches, mosques, synagogues and temples, tend the sick, care for the afflicted, work long hours in bad conditions to bring hope to the despairing and salvation to the lost. You can see it in the arousing of the world’s conscience to the plight of Africa.

There are a million good deeds done every day by people of faith. These are those for whom, in the parable of the sower, the seed fell on good soil and yielded sixty or a hundredfold.

What inspires such people?

Ritual or doctrine or the finer points of theology? No.

I remember my first spiritual awakening. I was ten years old. That day my father – at the young age of 40 – had suffered a serious stroke. His life hung in the balance. My mother, to keep some sense of normality in the crisis, sent me to school. My teacher knelt and prayed with me. Now my father was a militant atheist. Before we prayed, I thought I should confess this. “I’m afraid my father doesn’t believe in God”. I said. “That doesn’t matter” my teacher replied “God believes in him. He loves him without demanding or needing love in return.”

That is what inspires: the unconditional nature of God’s love. A promise perpetually kept. A covenant never broken.

And in surrendering to God, we become instruments of that love.

Rabbi Hillel was once challenged by a pagan, who said: if you can recite the whole of the Torah standing on one leg, I will convert to being a Jew. Rabbi Hillel stood on one leg and said “That which is hateful to you, do it not unto your neighbour. That is the Torah. Everything else is commentary. Go and study it.”

As the Qur’an states: “if anyone saves a person it will be as if he has saved the whole of humanity”.

Faith is not discovered in acting according to ritual but acting according to God’s will and God’s will is love.

We might also talk of the Hindu “Living beyond the reach of I and mine” or the words of the Buddha “after practising enlightenment you must go back to practise compassion” or the Sikh scripture: “God’s bounties are common to all. It is we who have created divisions.”

Each faith has its beliefs. Each is different. Yet at a certain point each is in communion with the other.

Examine the impact of globalisation. Forget for a moment its rights and wrongs. Just look at its effects. Its characteristic is that it pushes the world together. It is not only an economic force. The consequence is social, even cultural.

The global community – “it takes a village” as someone once coined it – is upon us. Into it steps religious faith. If faith becomes the property of extremists, it will originate discord. But if, by contrast, different faiths can reach out to and have knowledge of one another, then instead of being reactionary, religious faith can be a force for progress.

The Foundation which bears my name and which I began less than a year ago is dedicated to achieving understanding, action and reconciliation between the different faiths for the common good. It is not about the faith that looks inward; but the faith that resolutely turns us towards each other.

Bringing the faith communities together fulfils an objective important to all of us, believers and non-believers.

But as someone of faith, this is not enough. I believe restoring religious faith to its rightful place, as the guide to our world and its future, is itself of the essence. The 21st Century will be poorer in spirit, meaner in ambition, less disciplined in conscience, if it is not under the guardianship of faith in God.

I do not mean by this to blur the correct distinction between the realms of religious and political authority. In Britain we are especially mindful of this. I recall giving an address to the country at a time of crisis. I wanted to end my words with “God bless the British people”. This caused complete consternation. Emergency meetings were convened. The system was aghast. Finally, as I sat trying to defend my words, a senior civil servant said, with utter distain: “Really, Prime Minister, this is not America you know.”

Neither do I decry the work of humanists, who give gladly of themselves for others and who can often shame the avowedly religious. Those who do God’s work are God’s people.

I only say that there are limits to humanism and beyond those limits God and only God can work. The phrase “fear of God” conjures up the vengeful God of parts of the Old Testament. But “fear of God” means really obedience to God; humility before God; acceptance through God that there is something bigger, better and more important than you. It is that humbling of man’s vanity, that stirring of conscience through God’s prompting, that recognition of our limitations, that faith alone can bestow.

We can perform acts of mercy, but only God can lend them dignity. We can forgive, but only God forgives completely in the full knowledge of our sin.

And only through God comes grace; and it is God’s grace that is unique.

John Newton, who had been that most obnoxious of things, a slave-trader, wrote the hymn “Amazing Grace”.

“Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear. And Grace, my fears relieved.”

It is through faith, by the Grace of God, that we have the courage to live as we should and die as we must.

When I was Prime Minister I had cause often to reflect on leadership. Courage in leadership is not simply about having the nerve to take difficult decisions or even in doing the right thing since oftentimes God alone knows what the right thing is.

It is to be in our natural state – which is one of nagging doubt, imperfect knowledge, and uncertain prediction – and to be prepared nonetheless to put on the mantle of responsibility and to stand up in full view of the world, to step out when others step back, to assume the loneliness of the final decision-maker, not sure of success but unsure of it.

And it is in that “not knowing” that the courage lies.

And when in that state, our courage fails, our faith can support it, lift it up, keep it from stumbling.

As you begin your leadership of this great country, Mr President, you are fortunate, as is your nation, that you have already shown in your life, courage in abundance. But should it ever be tested, I hope your faith can sustain you. And your family. The public eye is not always the most congenial.

I was reminded of this, as I waited in London in the snow to fly to America and made the mistake of reading a British newspaper. It was the very conservative Daily Telegraph. A few days ago I gave an interview in which I remarked how much cleverer my wife was than me. The Telegraph has a famous letters page. In it was a letter from a correspondent that read something like: “Dear Sir, with reference to your headline ‘Blair admits wife more intelligent than him’, I fail to see why this is news. Most of us have known this for a long time.” As a PS perhaps: “the bar, however, has not been set high”.

I finish where I began: in the Holy Land, at Mount Nebo in Jordan, where Moses gazed on the Promised Land. There is a chapel there, built by pilgrims in the 4th Century. The sermon was preached by an American, who spent his life as an airline pilot and then, after his wife’s death, took holy orders. His words are the words of a Christian but they speak to all those of faith, who want God’s grace to guide their life.

He said this:

“While here on earth, we need to make a vital decision ... whether to be mere spectators, or movers and shakers for the Kingdom of God... whether to stay among the curious, or take up a cross. And this means: no standing on the sidelines ... We’re either in the game or we’re not. I sometimes ask myself the question: If I were to die today, what would my life have stood for... The answer can’t be an impulsive one, and we all need to count the cost before we give an answer. Because to be able to say yes to one thing, means to say no to many others. But we must also remember, that the greatest danger is not impulsiveness, but inaction.”

It is fitting at this extraordinary moment in your country’s history that we hear that call to action; and we pray that in acting we do God’s work and follow God’s will.

And by the way, God bless you all.

I hope he remembered to take his headgear off before he started, the murdering, psychotic fuck.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

9/11 Disco Party!!

It's been put up, it's been taken down, but unlike WTC1, 2 and 7 it's back up again...



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If you want to get ahead, get a hat

Fuck tinfoil, take control with the technology the powers that be do not want you to know about!
Slap one of these on your victim's head and they will be under your complete control!
You won't be a nobody anymore, even the world's most powerful people will suck your cock...








.....All day long.

With thanks to the aangirfan gestalt for the images.

Friday, 16 January 2009

Humour

It would be out of keeping with our normal mean mindedness not to draw attention to the tax dodging, midget messiah of managerial rock and his 'innovative' foray into the written word:



If the article doesn't have you reconsidering the right to bear arms, the comments will.

No Respect

The sharp suited, personable, well funded and largely unread author, Ed Hussain, has taken the trouble to publish an open letter (presumably because he has no friends to send it to) highlighting the explosion of multiple pogroms in the UK.

The face of reformed islamoterrorfascism
More than 20 prominent British Muslims have signed a joint letter denouncing antisemitic attacks and called for continued Muslim vigilance against antisemitism. Some of the UK's leading theologians, imams, writers, community activists and others have signed and circulated this message widely. It has been sent today, to coincide with Friday prayers, to nearly a thousand British mosques.

In the name of God, most compassionate, most merciful,

Dear Fellow Muslims,

We are deeply saddened to hear about antisemitic assaults on British Jews, and a recent arson attack on a London synagogue. Although the perpetrators are yet unknown, we unreservedly condemn attacks on innocent British citizens and the desecration of all places of worship.

The ongoing killing of Palestinian civilians in Gaza by Israeli forces has angered us all.

However, this does not, and cannot, justify attacks on our fellow citizens of Jewish faith and background here in Britain.

Most Muslims are completely against such behaviour. However, we call on all Muslims to continue to remain vigilant against attempts to bring our own faith and community into disrepute. British Jews should not be held responsible for the actions of the Israeli government.

While normally paying little heed to the kind of person who would, but a few years ago, have happily destroyed our whole way of life, I consider him to be too cautious in a matter of this burning, holocaustic urgency.

Until these vague, uninvestigated incidents cease, british universities, hospitals and human children should be unrelentingly attacked with overwhelming force.

After all. if someone threw a firework into the garden you had robbed them of, wouldn't you have the right to kill their family, neighbours and anyone who tried to help them?

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Respect


"Your village may be different from other people's villages,
but we are all prisoners"

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Don't become a Hypnoslave!!

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When it comes to reliable electromagnetic protection, veteran Conspiraloons always prefer to roll their own. However, for the less experienced Loon the Alliance can recommend the ready rolled protective headgear available from this quality supplier...


A sample of their wares...

The Dapper

The Fez

The Chaplin

The Kosher
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