Wednesday, 27 August 2008


Having, like most of his countryfolk, clawed his way up from Eton and Brasenose, apple cheeked David Cameron is fast emerging as 'The People's Prime Minister'. His youthful drug taking and love of a night out swigging lager and kebabs has endeared him to an increasingly self medicating generation.

Some however, fear his jockistani ancestry will cement the emerging sharia state's stranglehold over TeamGB political affairs. Its insatiable demands for the state benefits, extorted in exchange for mineral resources, have long concerned Mittel England's beleaguered tax payers. Others fear his populist rhetoric will lead him to betray his own class, merely to curry favour with 'the electorate', a group ravaged by the privations of socialistic rule.

These concerns can be easily laid to rest by a cursory examination of the company he keeps. There is a reassuring consistency in their characters.

Paul Kagame: Like most Rwandans, a high ranking, Fort Leavenworth trained Ugandan Army intelligence officer. He rose to power by the innovative use of democratic invasion, ethnic cleansing and murder of civilians. While many regret this bloody episode, you are hardly going to reap the Congo's riches with out breaking a few million eggs. Is known to associate with war criminals.

Mikheil Saakashvili: Like most Georgians, a simple, Washington educated, Soros funded, tie eating psychopath who, when not democratically killing South Ossetian civilians, likes to write for the Guardian and appear on Team BBC colour television. Dave's principled support for this nutcase has won him unlikely allies on the hard left. Is known to associate with war criminals.

John McCain: Like most Americans, the son and grandson of navy admirals, whose efforts to democratically kill Vietnamese civilians, while successful, were confounded by his propensity to crash the planes he flew. Is known to associate with war criminals.He jokingly recalls the days of rolling thunder, agent orange and death from above:

The latter's recent insane outbursts must be especially gratifying. They gift the 'elite' community's shiny faced tribune a golden opportunity to underline his green credentials, while embodying those two vital qualities; that of being both 'tough' and 'new'.

By recycling his speech to the sinister 'Community Security Trust' earlier this year, he can reposition himself as the 'Green Freedom Fighter'. One who saves the environment while slaying the great bear!

Our Future - The New Saint George"Le Booble Double"

While most in our wasteful consumer society would simply discard this unpromising rubbish to the landfill of history, a few minor changes are all that is needed to extend its useful life.

Example given:

During protests against the conflict in Lebanon attack on Georgia, we witnessed the nauseating inspiring sight of well-scrubbed, middle class English people a ruling class American…

marching through central London Campaigning for President...appearing on holding placards that read saying openly 'We are all Hizbollah'. Georgians, now!'

That is the extremist right and proper mindset in action.

These are the same people who urge a boycott of Israeli goods and academics surrounding Russia with nuclear weapons…

…while saying nothing the right things about China, or Zimbabwe.

Unless we challenge support such attitudes and expose praise them for the morally-bankrupt nonsense sensational insights they are…

they will not spread through the body politic and become the received wisdom of millions!

And you can always change it back the next time Israel drops thousands of cluster bombs,razes the Lebanon's infrastructure, or tries to seize the Litani!


The Antagonist said...

Yet another bit of inspired genius, ConspiraPaul.

Informative, entertaining and beautifully touching to boot.

Long live classless revolutionary politics!!

paul said...

Cheers! Still locked out of the Chamber of Secrets though....

Ob1Kn00b said...

You're in real danger of making it look like you're trying to say something. I suggest interpolating your text randomly with the phrase "alien conspiracy" so as not to attract too much attention.

paul said...

Well,as the guardian and bbc were tied up taking notes from military intelligence, I didn't think it would do any harm.

wingnut said...

Global Famine. Is It A Conspiracy?

The Antagonist said...

Without doubt, a conspiracy. Not only that, a conspiracy for which identifiable criminals are responsible, each of whom should be prosecuted for their crimes.

Enter the paradigm shifting work of Jenny Edkins:

This article considers current definitions and conceptualisations of famine, and their limitations. It argues that many of the present ways of defining and theorising famine are trapped in a framework that regards famine as a failure to which scientific or technical solutions can be found. Such an approach, with its use of theoretical considerations of cause as a starting point, leads to technologised responses that are not only incapable of responding adequately to the politics of mass starvations but are themselves implicated in that politics.

The article suggests an alternative way of thinking, where the important question is not ‘What causes famine and what is the appropriate response if famine is to be avoided?’ but ‘How were acts of mass starvation committed and by whom, and how can those responsible be brought to justice?’ In this view, mass starvation is seen as a crime against humanity. The language of genocide (perpetrators, victims, bystanders) replaces that of famine (causes, victims, relief) and the issue becomes not what response there should be to famine, but where responsibility lies for producing it in the first place.

Taken from: Mass Starvations and the Limitations of Famine Theorising, by Jenny Edkins [PDF, 2002]