Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Fly me to the moon

Following an astounding scientific breakthrough in our labs the Conspiraloon Alliance Laboratories have announced plans to go to the moon. At first sight, not that impressive a feat because the AmIRAQans pretended to go there almost half a century ago. But the Alliance plans to land on the moon involve getting there on anti-gravity alone. The anti-gravity function will work on little more than a communist-like common purpose sharing of our collective tinfoil hats, terrorist batteries and a bit of loose change. The Alliance plan to establish a moon-sized tin-foil observatory tent on the moon in time to take dramatic pictures of Universe changing shape from a new perspective, with a simple camera obscura.

This universe will change shape on December 21st 2012, just in time for the southern cross cruciFICTION christmas.

Only weeks ago the Conspiraloon Alliance obtained nuclear capabilities that, frankly, scares the pants off us all when Mahmoud Ahmadinejad joined the alliance after his comments about shadowy, possibly reptilian, hands artificially inflating oil prices.

In just a few weeks of playing with Mahmoud's phones and iPods playing anti-mind control monotone German techno, and stuff, wearing our protective radiation and mind-control proof tin foil caps, Conspiraloon Alliance Laboratory (Scotland) Inc. scientists noticed that they were starting to get high.

One day as the chief scientist, L.Ron De Ron Ron von Cupboard, was sorting out change for the coffee machine he took a call on his mobile from Moudy who called to ask if we wanted anything from the shops. Seconds later De Ron Ron von Cupboard was higher than all the other scientists, floating as he was eight feet above the coffee machine.

Several hours later, after analysing all the parameters involved in De Ron Ron von Cupboard's getting so high , Alliance Laboratory Scientists conducted preliminary anti-gravity lunar module launch tests.

These were the results.

Tinfoil hat wearing isn't quite so stupid after all.

1 comment:

paul said...

Fucking excellent, but how do you protect your mind if you use up all your foil?