Sunday, 17 February 2008

Film Special - There will be bollocks

The Alliances' showbiz correpondents are sorry to blow the lid off Daniel day Lewis' s latest blockbuster. Having lost precious hours to Paul Thomas Anderson's previous forays into superficial sophistication and fundamental vapidity, we knew all too well this critically basted turkey was a no hoper. However, the actuality is far more terrible than we feared.

It stinks.

The soundtrack, a clunking, anachronistic ligeti/varese pastiche , perfectly complements the meandering , portentuous 'visuals', the leaden pace and Danny's endless, wordless close ups which do so much to pad out the duration.
All collectivist political content has been stripped from the source, and the remainder has been reduced to a story about a nasty, greedy man who's horrible to everyone.

Oh, and oil doesn't bring you happiness (Got that Mr President?).

Powerful stuff, I think you'll agree, brothers and sisters!




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.......... 'Comic Genius'
'Greatest actor of his generation'

Spoilers!! A gripping scene which encapsulates man's inhumanity to man!!


7 comments:

Marty Robbins said...

Has my son been posting on here by any chance?

paul said...

He has but he's apologised. You've got a fine boy there.

Cherie and the Blackmailing Fantasist said...

Cherie Botha, the woman behind the mouth, who has befriended the Bush's former fanny, told the court she was a prominent human rights lawyer. "In fact she is nothing of the kind. She is my daughter," says Michael Crawford, a former opera singer from Merseyside, "and all her life she has been involved in a succession of scams, frauds, deceptions, lies, and forgeries. If only Downing Street had checked with Scotland Yard."

paul said...

Fuck me, why didn't they just d notice it?

Yorkshire Ripple - Director's Cut said...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XCHelgt6ogQ

Stef said...

whilst we're reporting on films that aren't half as fucking cool as their makers and critics seem to think they are I'd like to put a vote in for No Country for Old Bollocks

I personally recommend that anyone looking for profound, thoughtful depictions of man's inhumanity to man - and lots of it, picks up a copy of Shoot 'em up instead

paul said...

The attractions of the coen brothers hiply smug oeuvre has always escaped me.