Tuesday, 26 February 2008

Sleeper Cell or Dozy Bastards?

A terrorist instructor who called himself Osama bin London has been convicted, along with three of his followers, of organising al-Qaida style training camps across Britain!!
Great Britain's melons are safe once again from this curiously named fellow. The article states:

he verdicts were returned last Wednesday but were under a reporting restriction until today.
These restrictions were lifted for a short while, for some baffling reason, during chief plod Lionel Blair's (above) strange premonitions about the need to lock up people he didn't like, for as long as he liked.

Only the most ungenerous of us would say these two things were coordinated. But as I am as mean spirited as the next conspiranoid, I strongly suspect they were.

After Lionel's attempt to bounce the debate foundered, the restrictions were reimposed. Perhaps it was to spare the public any reports of the defense case. More likely it had something to do with the extremely poor quality of the 'terrorists' dredged up here. During the five month trial,( the culmination of a two year investigation):
"The jury heard no evidence of weapons or explosives"
So they had five fucking months of:
"prosecution relied on MI5 surveillance tapes and recordings made by an undercover police officer who penetrated the London-based jihadist cell."
i.e A load of idiots talking shit and arseing about to absolutely no effect. In the whole two years they were being watched, they didn't manage to get together:
  • Any weapons
  • Any money
  • Any 'chilling' plans for 'unimaginable carnage'
  • Any deadly explosives
Strangely, these covert cartoon characters:
  • Agree to appear on television*
  • Get paid for appearing on television*
  • Tell glamorous reporter Nasreen Suleaman about their 21/7 pals*
Nasreen (above - with wonky eye) who specialises in stitching up muslims terroristic matters was strangely uninterested when Mr London said he knew the identities of the 21/7 nonabombers.
She said:

“I don’t think it’s my obligation to tell another adult that he should go to the police.”

Hardly what you expect from elite BBC journalists. Then again you wouldn't expect her to hand over £300 sterling of precious licence payers money to these rascals.

But Nasreen is no ordinary journalist. She seems to have focused solely on muslim bad boys and her workrate resembles jd salinger on ketamine. This, at least, leaves her plenty of time to hang out at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. The Antagonist gives these matters a far more rigorous shoeing here.

Anyway, our scarecrows did manage to:
  • Leopard crawl
  • Ghost walk
  • Carry sticks
  • Callously chop up melons - and eat them!!!
  • Throw imaginary grenades
  • Make themselves as conspicuous as possible
  • Compile plenty of material to show these antics across a variety of media
  • Allow in an undercover agent (oops!)
All these things are very useful for urban terrorism, I'm sure. Probably in all those internet terror manuals people get banged up for life over (apart from letting the informant in).

They might have been better off craftily enrolling in the Marva Program.
It's primarily organised around killing palestinians, but the principles are just as useful to canny jihadis.
The benefits are obvious:
  • free haircut
  • proper uniforms
  • Meet people who actually bomb and kill the innocent
  • Get to use real guns
  • Absolutely zero chance of getting nicked

"healthy fun for youngsters"

On the bright side, if these lads are as incompetent as they seem, perhaps we could scale back the 'WarOnTerror', perhaps just to a few 'Specials'?

But dare we take that chance?!?!?!?!?

You decide, brothers and sisters!

*More on these stranger than fiction truths at J7

Sunday, 24 February 2008


from 9/11 blogger

Uncharacteristically unreserved stuff from Peter Dale Scott.

Also the real ENDGAME , not the snowstorm

Monday, 18 February 2008

Official Press Release from the Conspiraloon™ Alliance

It is with a heavy heart that we at the Conspiraloon™ Alliance feel the need to issue a public announcement distancing ourselves from recent statements made by honorary Alliance member Mohamed Al-Fayed

Whilst giving evidence at London's Royal Courts of Justice at the inquest into the death of his son Dodi and Diana, Princess of Wales, Mr Al-Fayed made a series of allegations identifying a number of senior public figures; including Prince Philip and former Prime Minister Tony Blair, as being murdering Nazi scum involved in a gigantic Establishment conspiracy. Outside the court, Mr Al Fayed did not halt his invective. Asked by the BBC's royal correspondent Peter Hunt whether he was lying, the Harrods owner shot back: "You work for MI6, you idiot!

Mr Al-Fayed, stricken by grief at the loss of his son, has clearly boarded the last train to Funkytown and is no longer able to distinguish between fact and fantasy

BBC royal correspondents work for MI5

We wish Mr Al-Fayed a speedy recovery and the swift return of all his faculties


Logo of the Month - Feb 2008

Well its not really a flag, is it?

"In Guns, Drugs and Racial Purity We Trust"

Sunday, 17 February 2008

Film Special - There will be bollocks

The Alliances' showbiz correpondents are sorry to blow the lid off Daniel day Lewis' s latest blockbuster. Having lost precious hours to Paul Thomas Anderson's previous forays into superficial sophistication and fundamental vapidity, we knew all too well this critically basted turkey was a no hoper. However, the actuality is far more terrible than we feared.

It stinks.

The soundtrack, a clunking, anachronistic ligeti/varese pastiche , perfectly complements the meandering , portentuous 'visuals', the leaden pace and Danny's endless, wordless close ups which do so much to pad out the duration.
All collectivist political content has been stripped from the source, and the remainder has been reduced to a story about a nasty, greedy man who's horrible to everyone.

Oh, and oil doesn't bring you happiness (Got that Mr President?).

Powerful stuff, I think you'll agree, brothers and sisters!


.......... 'Comic Genius'
'Greatest actor of his generation'

Spoilers!! A gripping scene which encapsulates man's inhumanity to man!!

Saturday, 16 February 2008

Friday, 15 February 2008

The Blair Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatim/Legacy/Betrayal

It's very rare here at the Alliance that we get anything wrong. The great thing, however, is that we're manly enough to admit it.
Previously we have referred to our former prime minister (below) as :

to name a few. While these things are all still as true now, we welcome the chance to honour him for his fearless defence of the people of Great Britain.

When the threat was made clear, he acted decisively to avert catastrophe. So, next time you think ill of the psychopathic cunt, remember how many millions of lives he saved by his actions. The threat was real, unlike all the other times.

Dec 8 2006, London, England....The Serious Fraud Office were closing in on the web of corruption surrounding the export of death technologies to an Arab country. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. Arabs, as we know all too well, are prone to exploding, especially while trying to impose 'the caliphate' over the entire world.
However, our brave lads at the SFO had inadvertently picked on Saudi Arabia .
The then Prime minister generally loathed Arabs, and had long been trying to kill as many as he could. But these were different, well connected to the western power elite.

Once you got to know them, it was easy to accept their simple pursuit of 21st century absolutist feudal monarchy, their execution of witches and the rather 'traditional' approach to political parties, trade unions and women's voting rights.

Understand our leader's dilemma. Here he was, guardian of the nation's judicial system,his flock's spritual and moral leader. Yet also their sole protector. If he let the 'bureaucrats' prosecute, there would be blood on the streets of london. He knew this, because Prince Bandar had told him. The news filled him with dread. The story going round was that Saudi hijackers were behind that fateful day, september 11, 2001. This had naturally prompted us to invade Afghanistan and Iraq.

His empty head began to fill with with terrible possibilities. Was terrorism somehow connected with the secretive and lavishly funded networks of the international security state? Had he killed all those men, women and children for nothing,(apart from the oil stuff)? Could he, one of the most powerful cocksuckers ever to hold office, have been so terribly wrong??

Then, as he brooded over this terrible awakening, the nightmarish reverie was broken by the ring of his commecially confidential hotline. Picking up, a voice croaked the mysterious words; "£43 billion".
The effect was instantaneous!
He was no longer the Prime Minister. The shackles of justice, accountability and democracy fell, releasing him to rise above principle and once again 'do what's right'.
The trigger words from his BAE handler had wrenched him back. Back to his glamorous secret agent past.
He reverted to the cold blooded master of deception he had been when he minced about under the codename 'Miranda'!
All the training from his carefree days of snitching on CND flooded back,filling him with a righteous, uncomplicated vigour.

Agent Miranda

In a flash he knew exactly what to do.

Speed dialling the SFO, he got hold of the investigation chief. If the case wasn't dropped, he explained, people would die and BAE would drop £43 billion, jeopardising its share price! After some humming and hawing over due process, the functionary crumbled like a junior law clerk on his first date.

'Miranda' as he would now forever be, slammed down the phone. He spun his chair and looked intently, yet fondly, into the mirror.
He liked what he saw.
He realised, through working in secret, his subjects would never find out. Those grotesque lumpen clods, who dared call themselves 'the electorate', would continue wallowing in ignorance of the sacrifices he made.
A fleeting moment of bitterness clouded his mind. Would they ever show him the gratitude he deserved?
Yet he still felt proud....How many could save thousands of white people from 'unimaginable carnage™' and 43 billion quid in one day?

There'll be a bit of that coming my way, he comforted himself, when the people finally let me go........

Thursday, 14 February 2008


Someone made the mistake of pasting (near the end of the comments) our foundation document in the existentialist cowboy's blog . The mysteriously named 'anonymous' consequently got 'torn a new one' as they say in the lone star state .
There you go Stef, not all texans are like Alex Jones.

Our Future's So Bright We've Got To Wear Shades