Monday, 19 November 2007

Share the light,split the cash

The Alliance has been rocked by the looming defection of one of its charter members. I immediately analysed the ramifications of this using the alliance's most powerful super computer. The results were,frankly, shocking.
By moving his vast wealth offshore:

  • airstrip one's currency collapses
  • share prices plunge
  • and ordinary people start eyeing up their families' gold fillings
Here's the computer projection of life after these changes:


Not a pretty picture, brothers and sisters, I think you'll agree.

Testing times clearly lie ahead, and I confess I was thrown into a deep depression . I racked by my brains for an answer....and then it came to me.......I picked up the phone and spoke to the one person who could help.


Julia Middleton (above), the surprisingly approachable leader of neo-masons, common purpose, was quick to grasp the situation. She swiftly made her way to the Alliance pyramid to plan for the coming apocalypse.
The first option, of turning the defector to stone, was dismissed. It would only forestall the cataclysm, not prevent it. A naval blockade, using a flotilla of Al Gore's ice borne,mind controlled polar bears, was also discussed and rejected.
It was then she revealed that we should court disaster, not avoid it. See this as an opportunity, not a crisis!!

"For too long we have skulked in the shadows"
she hissed, knuckles whitening around her wand
"...all our cadres are in place, and our time has come....
our diversity agenda will bring order out of chaos"

I nervously moved the subject on to what people would wear in this new order.

"Diversity",
she croaked,
squeezing the shrunken,
mummified head of norman gerrish
hanging at her waist
"is between leaders and followers."

Clearly, this distinction would have to be open and transparent for people to accept their destiny. As most popular science fiction depicts everybody wearing uniforms, someone had to take charge of this matter....
Recognising our leading position in the world of conspiracy theories on the internet, she charged the Alliance with designing the common purpose fashionkampf clothing line.

Brothers and sisters, I am proud to present you with the LEADERSHIP range:

and the CITIZEN range:


When you're in with 'the purpose', you're made. Money flows directly from the Citizens to the Leadership. The synergetic coupling of our two great movements spells a rosy future for the Alliance....................

12 comments:

The Antagonist said...

Hang on, the Alliance's burgeoning financial wealth, made largely from the sale of items from the Truthiness™ product range, is stashed in a Northern Rock account....

paul said...

No problem, we'll move it to the common purpose central reserve bank of the world.

The Antagonist said...

Those fine 'communist' bankers that they are.

paul said...

I reassured Julia that, as we all had equal posting rights, we were practically communists already!

On hearing this, her eyes faded from scarlet and she returned to threading human ears into necklace.

Extraordinary woman...I can see us hearing a lot from her in the future

The Antagonist said...

I reassured Julia that, as we all had equal posting rights, we were practically communists already!

Luckily, it's only Muslims that they're after these days. Although the Russian threat has been subtly ramped up in recent times.

Posh (but thick as pig-shit) Spice loves the leadership range.

So does Debra Cagan, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Coalition Affairs to Defence Secretary Robert Gates.

Rommel is less happy and was heard by the human-eared necklace to be turning in his grave.

Stef said...

Love the suit(s)

Uniformity is the New Diversity™, yay!!

paul said...

Debra says it cool to be Thule

paul said...

rommel was a short arsed scientologist!!!
You never stop learning, eh?

Stef said...

Unfortunately, I won't be in a position to establish the Antipodean Chapter of The Alliance and begin infecting youthful minds in an entirely new hemisphere for a while yet

On top of that most of my capacious personal wealth in tied up in long market positions taken on water filters and shotgun ammunition

I am however working on a plan to implode the UK banking system ahead of the globalists' schedule by paying confused older people small sums of fiat currency to stand in groups outside of certain banks of my choosing

paul said...

They'll be easy meat for the common purpose snipers!

Tom said...

The Daily Mail gets more fucking obscene 24 hours a day.

Stef said...

I am however working on a plan to implode the UK banking system ahead of the globalists' schedule by paying confused older people small sums of fiat currency to stand in groups outside of certain banks of my choosing

alternatively, someone could announce that the tax and banking records of 25 million people are now available on ebay but advise people not to worry about their bank accounts

that should help things along nicely