Friday, 31 August 2007

Alien Hunter

The Alliance laboratories recently detected a spike in the full spectrum weirdness continuum. This has proved to be a very reliable guide to alien activity in human form. The alien in question lurks under the name of Philip Atkinson. Reaching for Ockham's Hammer to crack open this nut, we must ask ourselves, can this be a human?

The wisest course would have been for President Bush to use his nuclear weapons to slaughter Iraqis until they complied with his demands, or until they were all dead.
President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court.

For the Romans the use of genocide was not evil but essential for securing and protecting their property and lives, and therefore a good act.
This attack was a Barbarian Raid signalling the start of hostilities that will only cease when the citizens of Western Civilization have all been killed or enslaved.

If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.

He could then follow Caesar's example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

In this war Nuclear weapons compel an unwelcome choice upon the citizens of Western Civilization: genocide or suicide.

For example, following the threat by Iran (who is now (circa 2006) building nuclear weapons) to "wipe Israel off the map", should the Israelis wait and see if their cities disappear in a flash, or should they make the Iranian cities disappear first?
Now this may very well be alright in this creature's home dimension, but do we really want it here?

16 comments:

jon doy said...

holy crap !

with the antichrist being installed we need a new messiah !

Daffyd Chayler said...

Hiya!

jon doy said...

excellent timing lord, but then, what with being omnipotent and such, i'd have expect no less from you

Daffyd Chayler said...

It's a new era!

jon doy said...

never mind all that, what are going to do about this antichrist malarkey ?

Daffyd Chayler said...

The universe is changing shape?

jon doy said...

bloody useless !

Jesus Christ said...

Yo Daffyd!
Sort your life out you muppet!
I gonna do you for identity theft!

JC

Daffyd Chayler said...

Yo Daffyd!
Sort your life out you muppet!
I gonna do you for identity theft!


HOW DARE YOU!!!!???! ? !

SHILL!

You do not have the monopoly on divinity JC, we are all Jesus in our own little way, it's just that I happen to be a little more so than others, even holier in fact, than thou!

The evolving consciousness of the hypersupermind is making the universe change shape, and when Planet X comes back you'll get yours JC, you thought that crown of thorns hurt the last time round...

Erm, I mean, peace unto you, fellow divine being of the hallucinogenic fungae and sun symbology.

Jon Ronson said...

Daffy! Daffy! I'm not a shill am I Daffy?

Jesus Christ said...

Look Daffyd, I warned everyone of the likes of you many years ago when I said

"verily verily I say unto you, a fuckwit will arise who will deceive many and turn the people away from the truth"

So, you can go and shove your planet X up your arse.

JC

Jon Ronson said...

I can call you Daffy can't I?

Daffyd Chayler said...

NO!

Jon Ronson said...

OH FUCK OFF THEN!

Daffyd Chayler said...

Look Daffyd, I warned everyone of the likes of you many years ago when I said

"verily verily I say unto you, a fuckwit will arise who will deceive many and turn the people away from the truth"

So, you can go and shove your planet X up your arse.


NO! I am the light, and truth, and everything else.

Besides, although I am a true divine being, you're nothing more than a composite of Egyptian and Pagan sun deities!

Jon Ronson's a toadying little prat who desperately needs to be loved - but what's YOUR excuse for being such a pain in the arse? hmm?

Jesus Christ said...

Daffyd,
If, as you claim, you are the light then how is it you also claim to have been channelling the light?

Muppet!


Just remember Daffyd, I'm coming back soon to burn up this fucked up world. The pain in your arse will seem insignicant compared to what you're gonna receive if you don't repent!