Friday, 31 August 2007

Alien Hunter

The Alliance laboratories recently detected a spike in the full spectrum weirdness continuum. This has proved to be a very reliable guide to alien activity in human form. The alien in question lurks under the name of Philip Atkinson. Reaching for Ockham's Hammer to crack open this nut, we must ask ourselves, can this be a human?

The wisest course would have been for President Bush to use his nuclear weapons to slaughter Iraqis until they complied with his demands, or until they were all dead.
President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court.

For the Romans the use of genocide was not evil but essential for securing and protecting their property and lives, and therefore a good act.
This attack was a Barbarian Raid signalling the start of hostilities that will only cease when the citizens of Western Civilization have all been killed or enslaved.

If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.

He could then follow Caesar's example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

In this war Nuclear weapons compel an unwelcome choice upon the citizens of Western Civilization: genocide or suicide.

For example, following the threat by Iran (who is now (circa 2006) building nuclear weapons) to "wipe Israel off the map", should the Israelis wait and see if their cities disappear in a flash, or should they make the Iranian cities disappear first?
Now this may very well be alright in this creature's home dimension, but do we really want it here?

Thursday, 30 August 2007

Alliance Poem of the Month

Counterpunch attack dog and formidable counterloon, Manuel Garcia jr, has more than one string to his bow. Scratch an atomic weapons scientist and he bleeds poetry.Truly, out of the strong comes forth sweetness......

We Ignore All Immolations

A Buddhist nun immolates herself on a Saigon street
to shock callous calculating minds
into a consciousness with peace as possibility.
A Palestinian explodes himself in Israel
to insert punctuation into the long, grim sentence passed on his tribe.
Final Solutions are dealt out by those with enough guns
to force in new settlements;
internal colonies grow to merge into a smothering occupation
rimmed in the blood of the vanquished.
Little empires curry favor with greater ones,
playing the role of Sparta-for-hire.
And everywhere:
the eyes are blind, the ears are deaf, the minds are sealed.
We ignore all immolations.
We can only drive ourselves along the scent trails laid down for us
by the masters of our destiny.

10 December 2001

© Manuel Garcia, Jr (13 ½)

Who could doubt the personal bravery of someone who would willingly publish this shit such lines?

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Live from the apex of Mont Perelin*

Breaking news, brothers and sisters!!!
An eagle eyed cub reporter in the hated mainstream press has inadvertently noticed:

"A cabal of intellectuals and elitists hijacked the economic debate, and now we are dealing with the catastrophic effects "

How did they start? A tale all too familiar to us....

"They arise in large part from a meeting that took place 60 years ago in a Swiss spa resort.

To what purpose George, to what purpose?!!!

"the real intent of the programme - the restoration of the power of the elite"

What happens if you cross this cabal?!!?

"if you disagreed, you got shot"

Coming from anyone else, this could easily be dismissed as conspiracy theory, but it can't be, because George has previously come out strongly against these things. To be consistent with his earlier teachings, These creatures would have to have:
  • just happened to be at the same meeting
  • accidentally gained their rich patrons
  • been mere bystanders in unexplained economic collapses around the world
  • and lucky that their opponents were so existentially incompetent
Clearly this man has come a long way in a short time, he is one of us now, and we must cherish him. As one disciple of the shayler being's previous life said:

"I tell you, there will be more joy in conspiracy heaven over one reporter who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."

While there is no doubt joy in conspiracy heaven tonight,I now fear for this brave truth teller (remember our queen of hearts!!!)..I say, hats off to this smug,floppy haired cunt plucky, incisive conspirobuddy, and never forget his "message":

The world is organised in the interests of a small, sinister CABAL......

*Mont Perelin ( widipedia. fr, trans: the bleeding obvious)

Sunday, 26 August 2007

Take the Conspiraloon Challenge!!

An American Truth
™ Seeker explains...

"Why Alex Jones is so successful at deceiving the people"

Take the Conspiraloon Challenge !! and see how long you can sit through this tightly structured, brilliantly narrated, fact-packed masterwork before turning the fucker off


less than 1 minute = Jon Ronson
1 to 5 minutes = Greg Palast
5 to 10 minutes = John Pilger
10 to 15 minutes = Charlie Sheen
15 to 20 minutes = David Shayler
more than 20 minutes = David Icke


Friday, 24 August 2007

Aaron Russo Commemorative Post

Aaron Russo...

Alive - 23rd August 2007

Not Alive - 24th August 2007

The World of Conspiraloonery is just that little bit poorer tonight, unlike the Federal Reserve


Thursday, 23 August 2007

John Pilger: The NonConspiroWorld™ Conspiraloon™

Arrogance, relentlessness, inability to answer questions, fondness for certain stock phrases, inability to employ or understand Occam's Razor, inability to tell good evidence from bad, inability to withdraw, leaping to conclusions, using previous conspiracies as evidence to support their claims, and, it's always a conspiracy.

Pilger's new documentary, The War on Democracy, has all of this, and more!

But remember, this sort of Conspiraloonery™ only happens in non-English speaking countries.

Saturday, 11 August 2007